Sometimes I snore, like when I get really tired.
BILL MURRAYJust beat my record for most consecutive days without dying.
More Bill Murray Quotes
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This is not a dress rehearsal; this is your life.
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The money thing is, the sort of Elvis Presley thing of buying you mother car is great, that’s very good. My mother has learned how to spend money.
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Different vodkas have different effects. Some make you feel a little… poly-lingual. Some make you feel like you want to talk back to someone who’s giving you a hard time. Some make you feel like lifting kettle bells.
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And I say, ‘Hey, Lama, hey, how about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know.’ And he says, ‘Oh, uh, there won’t be any money. But when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness.’ So I got that goin’ for me, which is nice.
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I kinda like this Jay-Z thing, where he’s retired, but he keeps doing shows. I think I beat him to that. If you say you’re retired, people don’t bother you so much, and then if you want to do something, you can do it.
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You cannot pray them out of hell.
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Totie Fields is one of my benchmarks for a lot of things. There was a standard of show business.
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When you see grown men near to tears because they’ve missed hitting a little white ball into a hole from three feet, it makes you laugh.
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Harold Ramis and I together did the ‘National Lampoon Show’ off Broadway, ‘Meatballs,’ ‘Stripes,’ ‘Caddyshack,’ ‘Ghostbusters’ and ‘Groundhog Day.’ He earned his keep on this planet. God bless him.
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Just beat my record for most consecutive days without dying.
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Don’t think about your errors or failures; otherwise, you’ll never do a thing.
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You can handle just about anything that comes at you out on the road with a believable grin, common sense and whiskey.
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The last thing I want is to be (in a film role) is obvious, direct and offensive.
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I try to be available for life to happen to me. We’re in this life, and if you’re not available, the sort of ordinary time goes past and you didn’t live it. But if you’re available, life gets huge. You’re really living it.
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I’m over the Oscar thing. I feel that if you really want an Oscar, you’re in trouble. It’s like wanting to be married – you’ll take anybody. If you want the Oscar really badly, it becomes a naked desire and ambition. It becomes very unattractive. I’ve seen it.
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You can tell how boring a person is by the lack of fear in their eyes when someone is flipping through photos on their phone.
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When everything goes well. When sails rip, engines freeze up and you find there are organisms growing inside the diesel, it’s terrible and amazing stuff.
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The cool part about naming your kid is you don’t have to add six numbers to make sure the name is available.
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Now, the essence, the very spirit of Christmas is that we first make believe a thing is so, and lo, it presently turns out to be so. – Stephen Leacockof Christmas trees around the house, so it smells good.
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You’re supposed to have one hand up and one hand down. As you’re trying to going up, you’re trying to pull someone up at the same time.
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There are people who drove me crazy, but they got the job done. And when I see that person again, I nod my head. Respect.
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If Google doesn’t know the answer, then it’s not a question
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I really don’t know what’s going to come out of my mouth.
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Human sacrifice! Dogs and cats living together! Mass hysteria!
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The cell will completely collapse and become nothing. That’s kind of what it’s like being famous. People say hi, how are you doing, and after the thousandth time, you just get angry; you really pop.
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Whatever you do, always give 100%. Unless you’re donating blood.
BILL MURRAY