Just beat my record for most consecutive days without dying.
BILL MURRAYYou want my dark side? Have I ever stolen anything? Not so much intentionally. But I don’t think it’s so much stealing as… being a part of the flow of the universe.
More Bill Murray Quotes
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When everything goes well. When sails rip, engines freeze up and you find there are organisms growing inside the diesel, it’s terrible and amazing stuff.
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There aren’t many downsides to being rich, other than paying taxes and having relatives asking for money. But being famous, that’s a 24 hour job right there.
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It just doesn’t matter if we win or we lose. IT JUST DOESN’T MATTER! It just doesn’t matter! It just doesn’t matter!
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Different vodkas have different effects. Some make you feel a little… poly-lingual. Some make you feel like you want to talk back to someone who’s giving you a hard time. Some make you feel like lifting kettle bells.
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Harold Ramis and I together did the ‘National Lampoon Show’ off Broadway, ‘Meatballs,’ ‘Stripes,’ ‘Caddyshack,’ ‘Ghostbusters’ and ‘Groundhog Day.’ He earned his keep on this planet. God bless him.
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Now, for some of you it doesn’t matter. You were born rich and you’re going to stay rich. But here’s my advice to the rest of you.
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The only good thing about fame that I’ve gotten is I’ve gotten out of a couple of speeding tickets. I’ve gotten into a restaurant when I didn’t have a suit and tie on. That’s really about it.
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All of us kids ended up ‘doing Mom.’ There are four of us who’ve tried show business. Five if you insist on counting my sister the nun, who does liturgical dance.
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That’s the reason I’m not the one that’s dead because the attraction of the fast life is very powerful.
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So far, I’ve only sailed in the Caribbean. I’ve sailed the Virgin Island and The Grenadines. I liked all that. We charted some really crummy boats in the Grenadines. That made for an exciting sailing trip (laughs) when everything goes well.
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In Japan, you have no idea what they are saying, and they can’t help you either. Nothing makes any sense. They’re very polite, but you feel like a joke is being played on you the entire time you’re there.
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Nowadays, the scripts are just so much better, that you don’t have to feel that way. You feel like the script’s coming to you, you can just relax. You don’t have to drive the boat.
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Whatever you do, always give 100%. Unless you’re donating blood.
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Alcohol is really just the liquid version of Photoshop.
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And I say, ‘Hey, Lama, hey, how about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know.’ And he says, ‘Oh, uh, there won’t be any money. But when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness.’ So I got that goin’ for me, which is nice.
BILL MURRAY