Golf was my first glimpse of comedy. I was a caddy when I was a kid. I was on the golf course rather than being in lessons, but I can play better now than I could then.
BILL MURRAYI was at the New York Film Critics Circle Awards one year – they called me up when somebody canceled two days before the thing, and asked me to present some awards.
More Bill Murray Quotes
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You know the theory of cell irritability? If you take an amoeba cell and poke it a thousand times, it will change and then re-form into its original shape. And then, the thousandth time you poke this amoeba.
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Awards are meaningless to me, and I have nothing but disdain for anyone who actively campaigns to get one.
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The first year I had money, I really went shopping. I got really caught up in it. I bought all my brothers sets of luggage, and I bought ’em winter coats from Giorgio Armani – winter coats. And I got a pair of socks from this brother.
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Disneyland. The world’s biggest people trap, built by a mouse.
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This is not a dress rehearsal; this is your life.
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I wanted to be a doctor once upon a time, but it turns out you’ve got to study, and that wasn’t going to happen. I had no idea what I was going to do. I had trouble holding jobs because they want you to be on time. That wasn’t going to work.
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And I don’t like to work. I only like working when I’m working.
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I think all phases of one’s career are serious if you take it seriously no matter if you are doing high profile dramatic pieces or not.
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I act like a jerk sometimes.
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Those are my people, you know? The ones who are going to crash and burn.
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Why would you get up there and bore people? I never have figured that out. These people are supposedly in the entertainment industry, and they finally get up there to that podium and they become the most boring people in the world.
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Harold Ramis and I together did the ‘National Lampoon Show’ off Broadway, ‘Meatballs,’ ‘Stripes,’ ‘Caddyshack,’ ‘Ghostbusters’ and ‘Groundhog Day.’ He earned his keep on this planet. God bless him.
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I think romance basically starts with respect. And new romance always starts with respect. Like the song ‘Love the One You’re With’; there is something to that. It’s not just make love to whomever you’re with, it’s just love whomever you’re with.
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To people who want to be rich and famous, I’d say, “Get rich first and see if that doesn’t cover it.”
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Be available for life to happen.
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Like: ‘Don’t walk out there with one hand in your pocket unless there’s somethin’ in there you’re going to bring out.’ You gotta commit. You’ve gotta go out there and improvise and you’ve gotta be completely unafraid to die.
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When I feel like I’m stuck, I do something – not like I’m Mother Teresa or anything, but there’s someone that’s forgotten about in your life, all the time. Someone that could use an ‘Attaboy’ or a ‘How you doin’ out there.
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The more relaxed you are, the better you are at everything.
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I’m just an obnoxious guy who can make it appear charming, that’s what they pay me to do.
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Everyone needs to take a vacation from the sort of automatic things you do.
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You can handle just about anything that comes at you out on the road with a believable grin, common sense and whiskey.
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I mean, everybody would love to have their clothes torn off by a mob of girls, but being screamed at is different.
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Just the very thought of someone my age going to visit old girlfriends had instant appeal.Even women think, ‘That would be interesting.’ Not comfortable, but interesting. It is not a comfortable film at any point.
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You know…they say an elephant never forgets. What they don’t tell you is, you never forget an elephant.
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In Japan, you have no idea what they are saying, and they can’t help you either. Nothing makes any sense. They’re very polite, but you feel like a joke is being played on you the entire time you’re there.
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The money thing is, the sort of Elvis Presley thing of buying you mother car is great, that’s very good. My mother has learned how to spend money.
BILL MURRAY