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Watching television is like taking black spray paint to your third eye.

Bill Hicks

How come people always flip and think they’re Jesus? Why not Buddha? Particularly in America, where more people resemble Buddha than Jesus. ‘Ah’m BUDDHA!’ ‘You’re Bubba!’ ‘Ah’m Buddha now..All I gotta do is change 3 letters on ma belt.
BILL HICKS

Country Jesus Thinking
What does an atheist scream when they come?
BILL HICKS

Atheist Come Scream
I love talking about Kennedy assassination…a great archetypal example of how totalitarian government…sorry, wrong meeting.
BILL HICKS

Government Sorry Talking
I need my sleep. I need about eight hours a day, and about ten at night.
BILL HICKS

Eight Night Sleep
Our next Cold War ought to be with ourselves…After all, who poses the biggest danger to the American environment? We do.
BILL HICKS

Cold Environment Next War
Children are smarter than any of us. Know how I know that? I don’t know one child with a full time job and children.
BILL HICKS

Children Funny Jobs
The war on drugs to me is absolutely phoney, its so obviously phoney, ok? It’s a war against our civil rights, that’s all it is. They’re using it to make us afraid to go out at night, afraid of each other, so that we lock ourselves in our homes and they get suspending our rights one by one.
BILL HICKS

Afraid Home Night Suspending War
I ascribe to Mark Twain’s theory that the last person who should be President is the one who wants it the most. The one who should be picked is the one who should be dragged kicking and screaming into the White House.
BILL HICKS

Funny Humor Ideas Revolutionary
I was a weekend drinker…I’d start on Saturday, end on Friday…thought I was controlling it…but I don’t drink any more.
BILL HICKS

Drink Friday Weekend
I figure, if he could overcome being nailed to a cross, I don’t think a Marlboro Light’s gonna faze him that much.
BILL HICKS

Light Marlboro Overcome The Figure Think
We’ll see who believes in me now. I am the Prankster God – I am killing me!
BILL HICKS

Believe Killing Pranksters
The eyes of fear want you to put bigger locks on your doors, buy guns, close yourself off. The eyes of love, instead, see all of us as one.
BILL HICKS

Doors Eye Gun Instead One
I saw…a kid on a leash. You seen these people? Kid on a leash? How horrible. Put him in the pound where he belongs.
BILL HICKS

Horrible Kids People Saws
Nicotine patches are great. Stick one over each eye and you can’t find your fags.
BILL HICKS

Cigarette Smoke Eye Smoking
When two or more people agree on an issue, I form on the other side.
BILL HICKS

Funny Humor People Two
The Voice of Reason is in us all…and everyone can recognize it because it makes sense and everyone benefits from it equally.
BILL HICKS

Benefits Reason Voice

Watching television is like taking black spray paint to your third eye.

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Watching television is like taking black spray paint to your third eye.

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