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I believe that the Bible is the literal word of God. And I say no, it’s not, Dad. Well, I believe that it is. Well, you know, some people believe they’re Napoleon. That’s fine. Beliefs are neat. Cherish them, but don’t share them like they’re the truth.

Bill Hicks

I was told when I grew up I could be anything I wanted: a fireman, a policeman, a doctor – even President, it seemed. And for the first time in the history of mankind, something new, called an astronaut. But like so many kids brought up on a steady diet of Westerns.
BILL HICKS

Doctor Dream Heart Hero President
Dinosaur fossils were placed in rocks by prankster God just to make human beings think the world is older than it is.
BILL HICKS

Rocks Thinking World
It’s always funny until someone gets hurt. Then it’s just hilarious.
BILL HICKS

Comedian Funny Hurt
I, like all artists in Western cultures, am a shaman…come in the guise of a comic…to heal perception by using…’jokes’.
BILL HICKS

Artist Culture Perception Western
I’ll tell you how to solve this abortion thing…Those unwanted babies…? Leave about 12 of them on the Supreme Court steps.
BILL HICKS

Abortion Baby Steps Unwanted
You think when Jesus comes back, he really wants to see a cross? That’s like going up to Jackie Onassis with a rifle pendant on.
BILL HICKS

Jesus Religious Thinking
The economy that’s fake anyway! Ha ha ha! Which would be a real bummer. You know. You can see why the government’s cracking down… on the idea of experiencing unconditional love, ah.
BILL HICKS

Cracking Experience Government
It’s an insane world, and I’m proud to be a part of it.
BILL HICKS

Insane Part Proud World
No, I don’t do drugs anymore, either. But I’ll tell you something about drugs. I used to do drugs, but I’ll tell you something honestly about drugs, honestly, and I know it’s not a very popular idea, you don’t hear it very often anymore, but it is the truth,
BILL HICKS

Honestly Jobs Kids Something Sorry
Your denial is beneath you, and thanks to the use of hallucinogenic drugs, I see through you.
BILL HICKS

Drug Funny Humor
Oh my God. Lift me up out of this illusion, Lord. Heal my perception that I might know only reality and only you.
BILL HICKS

might Perception Reality
When two or more people agree on an issue, I form on the other side.
BILL HICKS

Funny Humor People Two
I can’t believe a war against drugs when they have anti-drug commercials on TV all day long followed by This Bud is for you.
BILL HICKS

Belief Commercial Long War
You want a better world…? Legalize pot right now. …end the deficit? Legalize pot right now…biggest cash crop in America.
BILL HICKS

Cash Country World
Is it impossible to imagine Americans sneaking into Mexico en masse, seeking regular employment and a better way of life?
BILL HICKS

Country Employment Way
Life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves.
BILL HICKS

Dream Funny Ideas Revolutionary

I believe that the Bible is the literal word of God. And I say no, it’s not, Dad. Well, I believe that it is. Well, you know, some people believe they’re Napoleon. That’s fine. Beliefs are neat. Cherish them, but don’t share them like they’re the truth.

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Popular Authors

I believe that the Bible is the literal word of God. And I say no, it’s not, Dad. Well, I believe that it is. Well, you know, some people believe they’re Napoleon. That’s fine. Beliefs are neat. Cherish them, but don’t share them like they’re the truth.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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