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Dinosaur fossils were placed in rocks by prankster God just to make human beings think the world is older than it is.

Bill Hicks

But where did this veneration of childbirth come from? I missed that meeting. Childbirth is wonderful, childbirth is a miracle. Wrong. It’s no more a miracle than eating food and a turd coming out your ass.
BILL HICKS

Miracle Sex Wonderful
Enjoy your evening. See, I know that you entertain this eternal life fantasy because you’ve chosen not to smoke, but let me be the 1st to POP that bubble and bring you hurling back to reality . . . You’re dead too.
BILL HICKS

Enjoy Eternal Evening Fantasy Reality
Humanity is just a virus with shoes.
BILL HICKS

Humanity Shoes Viruses
Jesus-murdered. Martin Luther King-murdered. Gandhi-murdered. Malcolm X-murdered. Reagan-wounded.
BILL HICKS

Jesus Murder
They proved that if you quit smoking, it will prolong your life. What they haven’t proved is that a prolonged life is a good thing. I haven’t seen the stats on that yet.
BILL HICKS

Comedian Good Life Smoking
You think when Jesus comes back, he really wants to see a cross? That’s like going up to Jackie Onassis with a rifle pendant on.
BILL HICKS

Jesus Religious Thinking
Surgeon General’s warning ought to read: Smoking has been determined t0 cause cancer, heart disease & rednecks with seniority.
BILL HICKS

Cancer Disease Heart Seriously
I love talking about the Kennedy assasination. The reason I do is because I’m fascinated by it. I’m fascinated that our government could lie to us so blatantly, so obviously for so long, and we do absolutely nothing about it. I think that’s interesting in what is ostensibly a democracy.
BILL HICKS

Democracy Interesting Jesus Lying Sarcasm
Watching television is like taking black spray paint to your third eye.
BILL HICKS

Eye Funny Inspirational Paint Spray
I get a kick out of being an outsider constantly. It allows me to be creative.
BILL HICKS

Bullying Creative Ideas Revolutionary
I can’t watch TV longer than five minutes without praying for nuclear holocaust.
BILL HICKS

Funny Humor Ideas Revolutionary
We’ll see who believes in me now. I am the Prankster God – I am killing me!
BILL HICKS

Believe Killing Pranksters
What did moths bump into before the electric light bulb was invented? Boy, the lightbulb really screwed the moth up didn’t it? Are there moths on their way to the sun now going, It’s gonna be worth it!.
BILL HICKS

Boys Light Lightbulb Sun
I’m not into those kind of rivalries. I remember standing out in front of Stratford, minding my own business. Carload of about eighty kids would pull up.
BILL HICKS

Business Kids Men Running
We’re supposed to keep evolving. Evolution did not end with us growing opposable thumbs. You do know that, right?
BILL HICKS

Growing Ideas Revolutionary Thumbs
I believe we all have the Voice of Reason inside us…to gently lead us out of our own self-created hells.
BILL HICKS

Believe Self Voice

Dinosaur fossils were placed in rocks by prankster God just to make human beings think the world is older than it is.

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Dinosaur fossils were placed in rocks by prankster God just to make human beings think the world is older than it is.

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