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I don’t get along with anything, I really don’t…I’m, I’m, maybe I’m just a, you know, incredibly tasteful human being.

Bill Hicks

I believe that God left certain drugs growing naturally upon our planet to help speed up and facilitate our evolution.
BILL HICKS

Believe Drug Growing
People are bringing SHOTGUNS to UFO sightings…brings a whole new meaning to that phrase ‘You ain’t from around here, ar’ya?’
BILL HICKS

People Phrases Shotguns
All day long you see those commercials: ‘Here’s Your Brain, Just Say No’…and the next commercial is: ‘This Bud’s For You.’
BILL HICKS

Brain Bud Commercial Long
Keith Richards outlived Jim Fixx, the runner and health-nut dude. The plot thickens.
BILL HICKS

Keith Nuts Plot Runner
I don’t know what you all believe, and I don’t really care … but you have to admit that beliefs are odd. Lots of Christians wear crosses around their necks … you really think when Jesus comes back, he ever wants to see a fucking cross?
BILL HICKS

Christian Jesus Kings Neck
Is it my business if somebody wants to burn a flag?…No, it’s not…That’s called logic and it’ll help us all evolve.
BILL HICKS

Flags Helping Want
The eyes of fear want you to put bigger locks on your doors, buy guns, close yourself off. The eyes of love, instead, see all of us as one.
BILL HICKS

Doors Eye Gun Instead One
Childbirth is no more a miracle then eating food and a turd coming out of your ass.
BILL HICKS

Ass Eating Miracle
I’ll tell you how to solve this abortion thing…Those unwanted babies…? Leave about 12 of them on the Supreme Court steps.
BILL HICKS

Abortion Baby Steps Unwanted
They believe the bible is the exact word of God – Then they change the bible! Pretty presumptuous, hu huh? “I think what God meant to say…”
BILL HICKS

Believe God Thinking Word
I’ve learned a lot about women. I think I’ve learned exactly how the fall of man occured in the Garden of Eden. Adam and Eve were in the Garden of Eden, and Adam said one day, Wow, Eve, here we are, at one with nature, at one with God, we’ll never age.
BILL HICKS

Dream Exactly Fall Learned Men Women
Mushrooms grow on cow turds. I love that. I think that’s why you giggle the first hour.
BILL HICKS

Cow Mushroom Thinking
England, where no one has guns: 14 deaths. United States…23,000 deaths from handguns. But – there’s no connection.
BILL HICKS

Connections Gun States United
I never got along with my dad. Kids used to come up to me and say, ‘My dad can beat up your dad.’ I’d say ‘Yeah? When?’
BILL HICKS

Dad Funny Motivational
The world’s like a ride in a fairground & when you choose to go on it you think it’s real, that’s how powerful our minds are
BILL HICKS

Powerful Real Thinking
You think when Jesus comes back, he really wants to see a cross? That’s like going up to Jackie Onassis with a rifle pendant on.
BILL HICKS

Jesus Religious Thinking

I don’t get along with anything, I really don’t…I’m, I’m, maybe I’m just a, you know, incredibly tasteful human being.

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I don’t get along with anything, I really don’t…I’m, I’m, maybe I’m just a, you know, incredibly tasteful human being.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

More Bill Hicks Quotes