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I don’t get along with anything, I really don’t…I’m, I’m, maybe I’m just a, you know, incredibly tasteful human being.

Bill Hicks

I am a misanthropic humanist… Do I like people? They’re great, IN THEORY.
BILL HICKS

Misanthropic People Theory
What before seemed a…frustrating wall, the comic deftly and fearlessly steps through, proving the absurdity of it all.
BILL HICKS

Comic Steps Wall
I believe we all have the Voice of Reason inside us…to gently lead us out of our own self-created hells.
BILL HICKS

Believe Self Voice
I get a kick out of being an outsider constantly. It allows me to be creative.
BILL HICKS

Bullying Creative Ideas Revolutionary
I guess what surprised me the most was the discrepancy in casualties: Iraq, one hundred fifty thousand casualties, USA: seventy-nine!
BILL HICKS

Country Mean Most Surprise
I was over in Australia during Easter, which was really interesting. You know, they celebrate Easter the exact same way we do, commemorating the death and resurrection of Jesus by telling our children that a giant bunny rabbit left chocolate eggs in the night.
BILL HICKS

Bunny Celebrating Commemorating Easter Jesus Kings
Nicotine patches are great. Stick one over each eye and you can’t find your fags.
BILL HICKS

Cigarette Smoke Eye Smoking
I got this big fear of doing smoking jokes in my act and showing up five years from now goin’ [puts mic to his neck and speaks as if he had a mechanical larynx] ‘good evening everybody, remember me, smoking’s bad. [puts cigarette to neck and mimics smoking it] Eeww.
BILL HICKS

Mechanical Smoking Thinking Years
It’s all about money, not freedom. If you think you’re free, try going somewhere without money, okay?
BILL HICKS

Okay Thinking Trying
Just a simple choice, right now, between fear and love. The eyes of fear want you to put bigger locks on your doors, buy guns, close yourself off. The eyes of love instead see all of us as one.
BILL HICKS

Doors Eye Fear Gun Yourself
People in the U.K. share my bemusement with the United States that America doesn’t share with itself. They have a sense of irony, which America doesn’t have, seeing as it’s being run by fundamentalists who take things literally.
BILL HICKS

Bemusement Country People Running
Jesus-murdered. Martin Luther King-murdered. Gandhi-murdered. Malcolm X-murdered. Reagan-wounded.
BILL HICKS

Jesus Murder
Rock stars hawking Diet Cokes–are demons set loose on the Earth to lower the standards for the perfect & holy children of God!
BILL HICKS

Children Rocks Stars
Caffeine from Monday to Friday to energize you enough to make you a productive member of society, and alcohol from Friday to Monday to keep you too stupid to figure out the prison that you are living in.
BILL HICKS

Caffeine Energize Friday Monday Productive The Figure
Folks, it’s time to evolve. That’s why we’re troubled. You know why our institutions are failing us, the church, the state, everything’s failing? It’s because, um – they’re no longer relevant. We’re supposed to keep evolving. Evolution did not end with us growing opposable thumbs. You do know that, right?
BILL HICKS

Church Ideas Revolutionary Thumbs
I’ve been on what I call my UFO Tour, which means, like UFOs, I too have been appearing in small southern towns in front of a handful of hillbillies lately.
BILL HICKS

Flying Southern Towns

I don’t get along with anything, I really don’t…I’m, I’m, maybe I’m just a, you know, incredibly tasteful human being.

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I don’t get along with anything, I really don’t…I’m, I’m, maybe I’m just a, you know, incredibly tasteful human being.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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