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How many people disapprove of the job the Conservatives are doing? Seventy percent. Of those same people, how many will vote for them again? …Seventy percent. What the fuck? Where did they take this poll, at an S&M parlor?

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Jobs People Vote

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

Pornography is any act that has no artistic merit and causes sexual thoughts…Sounds like almost every commercial on TV to me.
BILL HICKS

Artistic Causes Commercial Sound
It’s always funny until someone gets hurt. Then it’s just hilarious.
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Comedian Funny Hurt
People in the United Kingdom and outside the United States share my bemusement with the United States that America doesn’t share with itself.
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Country People United States
Surgeon General’s warning ought to read: Smoking has been determined t0 cause cancer, heart disease & rednecks with seniority.
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Cancer Disease Heart Seriously
I’m not into those kind of rivalries. I remember standing out in front of Stratford, minding my own business. Carload of about eighty kids would pull up.
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Business Kids Men Running
Dinosaur fossils were placed in rocks by prankster God just to make human beings think the world is older than it is.
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Rocks Thinking World
Music is a great energizer. It’s a language everybody knows.
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Energizer Language Music
I saw…a kid on a leash. You seen these people? Kid on a leash? How horrible. Put him in the pound where he belongs.
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Horrible Kids People Saws
I used to love to call L.A. when I lived in New York… Is that the Big One I hear in the background? Bye, you lizard scum! Bye!
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Bye Country
I believe it is our own misperceptions of who we really are that leads to every self-created hell you’ll find in this world.
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Believe Created Self World
I don’t care if you’re obscene, filthy, horrendous — as long as you’re honest.
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Caring Honest Long
I ascribe to Mark Twain’s theory that the last person who should be President is the one who wants it the most. The one who should be picked is the one who should be dragged kicking and screaming into the White House.
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Funny Humor Ideas Revolutionary
I’ve learned a lot about women. I think I’ve learned exactly how the fall of man occured in the Garden of Eden. Adam and Eve were in the Garden of Eden, and Adam said one day, Wow, Eve, here we are, at one with nature, at one with God, we’ll never age.
BILL HICKS

Dream Exactly Fall Learned Men Women
Watching television is like taking black spray paint to your third eye.
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Eye Funny Inspirational Paint Spray
Writing, acting, music, comedy. A deep love of literature and books. Thank God for all the artists who’ve helped me.
BILL HICKS

Artist Book Writing
It’s an insane world, and I’m proud to be a part of it.
BILL HICKS

Insane Part Proud World

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