People in the U.K. share my bemusement with the United States that America doesn’t share with itself. They have a sense of irony, which America doesn’t have, seeing as it’s being run by fundamentalists who take things literally.
BILL HICKSHow many people disapprove of the job the Conservatives are doing? Seventy percent. Of those same people, how many will vote for them again? …Seventy percent. What the fuck? Where did they take this poll, at an S&M parlor?
More Bill Hicks Quotes
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Keith Richards outlived Jim Fixx, the runner and health-nut dude. The plot thickens.
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You know what I hate about working? Bosses…The very idea that ANYONE could be my boss, well…I think you see the conflict.
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To make marijuana against the law is like saying God made a big mistake.
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A Christian will say… “I believe God created me in one day” Yeah, looks liked He rushed it.
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Let’s do some comedy. I always like to add some comedy to my show. Those who’ve seen me before might know that.
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I’m sorry if any of you are Catholic. I’m not sorry if you’re offended, I’m actually just sorry by the fact that you’re Catholic.
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What did moths bump into before the electric light bulb was invented? Boy, the lightbulb really screwed the moth up didn’t it? Are there moths on their way to the sun now going, It’s gonna be worth it!.
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I was in Australia….Lotta leg room down under. Apartments: dollar a month. 2000-acre den….think of the parties.
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BTW A 24 week old embryo is not a human being. You’re not a human being until you’re in my phone book.
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I was a weekend drinker…I’d start on Saturday, end on Friday…thought I was controlling it…but I don’t drink any more.
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What does an atheist scream when they come?
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We are the facilitators of our own creative evolution.
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Humanity is just a virus with shoes.
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The eyes of fear want you to put bigger locks on your doors, buy guns, close yourself off. The eyes of love, instead, see all of us as one.
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We’ll never die, and all our dreams come true the instant that we have them. And Eve said, Yeah… it’s just not enough is it?
BILL HICKS







