“It’s not like you get up on stage and you’re immediately a genius. It takes a long time. So, don’t be discouraged.”

The best thing to do is to get out in front of an audience as much as you can, and learn from the experience.

Richard Grieco once asked for a bunch of M&M’s

Comedy is this weird thing. You have no idea why certain things work and other things don’t work.

I move out here, and next thing I know I’m 25, and the only thing I’ve heard is, ‘Can you get a coffee, can you hurry up with the thing, blah blah blah.’

My kids, they’re always embarrassed when my voice shows up in something.

The idea of a Chicago band that wanted to sing songs about California is really funny. Having never been to California.

I always felt better co-writing something – always co-writing. Because if I was the lead of it and it failed, then it failed on my own accord. I would say, “Well, I liked it or I screwed up. I take the hit on this one.”

It was nice doing something and hearing someone go, ‘Hey, you’re good at this.’

Growing up in Oklahoma, there wasn’t much to do. Play sports, do a lot of drugs, or read and watch movies, which is what I did.

My dad’s from there, and I have relatives there, but I don’t think I’ve been to Chicago since I was like 9.

I’m not a fan of the Eagles, but I’ve watched their documentary numerous times and everyone who’s watched it with me has sung along to the songs, much to my dismay.

If a guy doesn’t like a funny girl, something is wrong with him.

I really enjoyed playing Vinny Vedecci, the Italian talk show host. He was the first character I ever came up with where I gave him a name and a way of dressing.

I was into writing and directing. I was a bit of a reluctant actor. I would always ask friends to shoot or direct their movies, but then they’d want me to be in them.

All the stories have to do with emotion. Emotion is driving everything.

I have nothing, I have no props.’ And that was Andy Samberg. And Andy Samberg said he was looking at me going, ‘Oh, that guy has no props. He doesn’t need props.’ And that was the first time we met, was in that elevator.

There’s one thing everyone should understand: I like my character.

I feel like I can get a good feel for people.

When a high-profile personality lives like I do, everybody thinks that person is fated to die young.

I do like people to read the books twice, because I write my novels about ideas which concern me deeply and I think are important, and therefore I want people to take them seriously. And to read it twice of course is taking it seriously.

Doctor, you don’t know what it is to doubt everything, even yourself. No, you don’t; you couldn’t with eyebrows like yours.

Dawn came on us like a betrayer; it seemed as though the new sun rose as an ally of our enemies to assist in our destruction.

I’ve heard a few times, in three or four years, this league is going to be yours. I don’t like that. Because I think I’m established now.

I am quite bolshy, sometimes. I like to get my own way, lets put it like that.