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I decided years ago not to read stories about myself anymore. Each one is a potential minefield: Whatever it says, you’re bound to take it the wrong way. Why do it if you know it’s going to make you miserable?

Bette Midler

The [film] business is run by men, and they’re basically interested in their own species, and they’re not so interested in women belonging to the human race.
BETTE MIDLER

Men Movie Running
I celebrate everyone’s religious holidays. if it’s good enough for the righteous, it’s good enough for the self-righteous, I always say.
BETTE MIDLER

Holiday Religious Self
If you’re frightened, you’re out of luck.
BETTE MIDLER

Frightened Luck Out
I don’t need anyone to write me a show in my style, I would like to do a show in a style that wasn’t my style, because that’s the only way I can grow up and grow out.
BETTE MIDLER

Growing Style Up Writing
I’m mad about God! That’s why I’m divine.
BETTE MIDLER

Divine God Mad
I’m the last of the truly tacky women. I do trash with flash and sleaze with ease.
BETTE MIDLER

Easy Lasts Tacky
My daughter very independent. But if she’s upset about something, she will absolutely let me know. She’s great – a real tough cookie.
BETTE MIDLER

Daughter Independent Real
I haven’t left my house in days. I watch the news channels incessantly. All the news stories are about the election; all the commercials are Viagra and Cialis. Election, erection, election, erection! Either way we’re screwed!
BETTE MIDLER

House News Stories Watches
If someone were to say seriously, “I’m divine,” she’d have to be locked up. There are lots of people in mental institutions going around saying “I’m God.” But because I’m funny about it, they haven’t locked me up yet. And I don’t give myself airs, either.
BETTE MIDLER

Air Giving People
You have to think you’re the greatest thing since sliced bread, but you have to know that you’re not.
BETTE MIDLER

Bread Sliced Thinking
I try not to drink too much because when I’m drunk, I bite.
BETTE MIDLER

Drinking Drunk Perspective
Lay a foundation – get my foot in the door, and then undoubtedly, of course, I would be offered great roles as soon as I grew up enough to handle them.
BETTE MIDLER

Enough Foundation Great Lay
I’ve always said we got married because there was nothing on TV.
BETTE MIDLER

Always Breakup Married
GOD is watching us, from a Distance.
BETTE MIDLER

Distance God Watching
If you pick up a ukulele, it will make you unbelievably happy.
BETTE MIDLER

Happy Picks Ukulele
Life is like cooking your masterpiece recipe. You have to get the right ingredients,have the right mixture and the right cooking time to reveal the PERFECT and DELICIOUS TASTE of your craft.
BETTE MIDLER

Cooking Life Perfect

I decided years ago not to read stories about myself anymore. Each one is a potential minefield: Whatever it says, you’re bound to take it the wrong way. Why do it if you know it’s going to make you miserable?

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I decided years ago not to read stories about myself anymore. Each one is a potential minefield: Whatever it says, you’re bound to take it the wrong way. Why do it if you know it’s going to make you miserable?

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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