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I try not to drink too much because when I’m drunk, I bite.

Bette Midler

I think most of us are torn. We have at least two people at war in our body. One person wants to retire and grow fabulous tomatoes, and the other wants to stand up on a pedestal and be worshipped and get bigger and bigger and bigger until she explodes.
BETTE MIDLER

Thinking Two War
If you pick up a ukulele, it will make you unbelievably happy.
BETTE MIDLER

Happy Picks Ukulele
My idea of superwoman is someone who scrubs her own floors.
BETTE MIDLER

Cleaning Ideas Superwoman
I hope to keep entertaining in some way until I can’t physically entertain any longer. It’s what I was born to do, and I love this profession.
BETTE MIDLER

Born Entertaining Way
I feel like a million tonight – but one at a time.
BETTE MIDLER

Inspiration Memorable Tonight
Cherish forever what makes you unique, ‘cuz you’re really a yawn if it goes.
BETTE MIDLER

Acceptance Inspirational Strong Women
I can get plenty of men, keeping them is the hard part.
BETTE MIDLER

Men Plenty Relationship
it will cleanse itself, and new life forms, maybe better ones, will come. Meanwhile, we’ll have gotten exactly what we deserved: annihilation.
BETTE MIDLER

Annihilation Costume Exactly Gotten
If sex is such a natural phenomenon, how come there are so many books on how to do it?
BETTE MIDLER

Funny Hilarious Love
Total contentment is only for cows.
BETTE MIDLER

Contentment Cows Total
From a distance the world looks blue and green, and the snow-capped mountains white. From a distance the ocean meets the stream, and the eagle takes to flight. From a distance, there is harmony, and it echoes through the land. It’s the voice of hope, it’s the voice of peace, it’s the voice of every man
BETTE MIDLER

Distance Men Ocean
Most people are walking around the city like corpses; they aren’t alive enough to notice the trash. They come from other places and they see it as a big garbage dump.
BETTE MIDLER

Cities People Want
Culturally, it’s very hard to change people’s attitudes about public space.
BETTE MIDLER

Attitude People Space
When you reach a certain age, you have fulfilled your childhood dream and whatever your first or second adulthood led you to do. T
BETTE MIDLER

Childhood Dream Thinking
All these rumors about [Tom Cruise] being gay. I don’t believe it. I don’t believe it for one minute. He hasn’t been to one of my shows.
BETTE MIDLER

Believe Gay Rumor
People are not the best because they work hard. They work hard because they are the best.
BETTE MIDLER

Best Hard People Work

I try not to drink too much because when I’m drunk, I bite.

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I try not to drink too much because when I’m drunk, I bite.

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