“A good ad should be like a good sermon: It must not only comfort the afflicted, it also must afflict the comfortable.”

Teenagers travel in droves, packs, swarms. … To the librarian, they’re a gaggle of geese. To the cook, they’re a scourge of locusts. To department stores, they’re a big beautiful exaltation of larks … all lovely and loose and jingly.

Creativity often consists of merely turning up what is already there. Did you know that right and left shoes were thought up only a little more than a century ago?

Creativity varies inversely with the number of cooks involved in the broth.

To be a success in advertising you must want to fill other people with a passion for possession.

deferring gratification is a good definition of being civilized.

After I’m dead I’d rather have people ask why I have no monument than why I have one.

MAKE STATEMENTS also applies to us women: Speak in statements instead of apologetic questions. No one wants to go to a doctor who says, “I’m going to be your surgeon? I’m here to talk to you about your procedure?

Some people say, “Never let them see you cry.” I say, if you’re so mad you could just cry, then cry. It terrifies everyone.

Photoshop is just like makeup. When it’s done well it looks great, and when it’s overdone you look like a crazy asshole.

Do your thing and don’t care if they like it.

Sometimes you want to have a very productive Saturday to feel that you are in control of your life, which of course you are not.

Conquered people tend to be witty.

To be witty is not enough. One must possess sufficient wit to avoid having too much of it.