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Politicians are like ships: noisiest when lost in a fog.

Bennett Cerf

Banquet: a plate of cold, hairy chicken and artificially coloured green peas completely surrounded by dreary speeches and appeals for donations.
BENNETT CERF

Cooking Food Speech
The Detroit String Quartet played Brahms last night. Brahms lost.
BENNETT CERF

Detroit Lasts Night
The Atomic Age is here to stay – but are we?
BENNETT CERF

Age Peace War
Good manners: The noise you don’t make when you’re eating soup.
BENNETT CERF

Cooking Food Soup
Oratory is the art of making a loud noise sound like a deep thought.
BENNETT CERF

Art Deep Teaching Thought
The fact that we don’t read more books in America can be traced squarely to the fact that we have newspapers that are about a hundred times as big as the newspapers anywhere else.
BENNETT CERF

Book Country Facts
Most of the things that are supposed to be so objectionable in books are things that every teenager, in the United States, not only knows, but has talked about at length in school, or on the way home from school.
BENNETT CERF

Book Home Teenager
For me, a hearty “belly laugh” is one of the beautiful sounds in the world.
BENNETT CERF

Beautiful Laughing Sound
One of the greatest threats facing book publishing, and the entire country for that matter, is censorship.
BENNETT CERF

Book Country Matter
The person who can bring the spirit of laughter into a room is indeed blessed.
BENNETT CERF

Blessed Happiness Laughter
Politicians are like ships: noisiest when lost in a fog.
BENNETT CERF

Fog Politician Ships
One of the troubles of the day, observes Mr. C.N. Peac, is that once we came upon the little red schoolhouse, whereas now we come upon the little-read school boy.
BENNETT CERF

Education School Teaching
I don’t stutter when I talk to God. He loves me.
BENNETT CERF

God Love Shutter
I think the right to read, is one of our inherent rights, and I think that people in America today are intelligent enough to decide for themselves what they want to read. Without being told, by self-appointed people, you must not read this, or you cannot read this.
BENNETT CERF

Intelligent Rights Thinking
There once was a student named Bessor Whose knowledge grew lessor and lessor. It at last grew so small He knew nothing at all, And today he’s a college professor!
BENNETT CERF

College Teaching Today
In a notable family called Stein There were Gertrude, and Ep, and then Ein. Gert’s writing was hazy, Ep’s statues were crazy, And nobody understood Ein.
BENNETT CERF

Crazy Poetry Writing

Politicians are like ships: noisiest when lost in a fog.

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Politicians are like ships: noisiest when lost in a fog.

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