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In a notable family called Stein There were Gertrude, and Ep, and then Ein. Gert’s writing was hazy, Ep’s statues were crazy, And nobody understood Ein.

Bennett Cerf

Oratory is the art of making a loud noise sound like a deep thought.
BENNETT CERF

Art Deep Teaching Thought
Banquet: a plate of cold, hairy chicken and artificially coloured green peas completely surrounded by dreary speeches and appeals for donations.
BENNETT CERF

Cooking Food Speech
I think it’s become fashionable for the snobbish egghead today to make fun of television. I’ve heard many people, boast, “I would never have a television set in my house,” well, these people are fools.
BENNETT CERF

Fun People Thinking
Most of the things that are supposed to be so objectionable in books are things that every teenager, in the United States, not only knows, but has talked about at length in school, or on the way home from school.
BENNETT CERF

Book Home Teenager
The Detroit String Quartet played Brahms last night. Brahms lost.
BENNETT CERF

Detroit Lasts Night
I don’t stutter when I talk to God. He loves me.
BENNETT CERF

God Love Shutter
Fame – anyone who says he doesn’t like it is crazy
BENNETT CERF

Crazy Fame Madness
Football season: The only time of the year when a man can walk down the street with a blond on one arm and a blanket on the other without encountering raised eyebrows.
BENNETT CERF

Football Men Years
The fundamental difference between the mystery story and the ghost story is the fact that a mystery demands a solution for its effectiveness; a ghost story is necessarily unsolvable; the reader must be willing to accept the fact that nothing is proved.
BENNETT CERF

Differences Effectiveness Ghost Stories
For me, a hearty “belly laugh” is one of the beautiful sounds in the world.
BENNETT CERF

Beautiful Laughing Sound
Gross ignorance is 144 times worse than ordinary ignorance.
BENNETT CERF

Gross Ignorance Ordinary
There once was a student named Bessor Whose knowledge grew lessor and lessor. It at last grew so small He knew nothing at all, And today he’s a college professor!
BENNETT CERF

College Teaching Today
Politicians are like ships: noisiest when lost in a fog.
BENNETT CERF

Fog Politician Ships
There is a mass of people, we might as well admit, who if they weren’t watching television, would be doing absolutely nothing else.
BENNETT CERF

Else Nothing People Television
The Atomic Age is here to stay – but are we?
BENNETT CERF

Age Peace War
Do I believe in ghosts? Of course I do. So do you. Deep in the souls of the most sophisticated of us is lurking a fear of the supernatural which all the discoveries of scientists cannot eradicate.
BENNETT CERF

Believe Discovery Soul

In a notable family called Stein There were Gertrude, and Ep, and then Ein. Gert’s writing was hazy, Ep’s statues were crazy, And nobody understood Ein.

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In a notable family called Stein There were Gertrude, and Ep, and then Ein. Gert’s writing was hazy, Ep’s statues were crazy, And nobody understood Ein.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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