I don’t stutter when I talk to God. He loves me.
BENNETT CERFIn a notable family called Stein There were Gertrude, and Ep, and then Ein. Gert’s writing was hazy, Ep’s statues were crazy, And nobody understood Ein.
More Bennett Cerf Quotes
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Middle age is when your old classmates are so grey and wrinkled and bald they don’t recognize you.
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The fundamental difference between the mystery story and the ghost story is the fact that a mystery demands a solution for its effectiveness; a ghost story is necessarily unsolvable; the reader must be willing to accept the fact that nothing is proved.
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Football season: The only time of the year when a man can walk down the street with a blond on one arm and a blanket on the other without encountering raised eyebrows.
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One of the troubles of the day, observes Mr. C.N. Peac, is that once we came upon the little red schoolhouse, whereas now we come upon the little-read school boy.
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Do I believe in ghosts? Of course I do. So do you. Deep in the souls of the most sophisticated of us is lurking a fear of the supernatural which all the discoveries of scientists cannot eradicate.
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Fame – anyone who says he doesn’t like it is crazy
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The Detroit String Quartet played Brahms last night. Brahms lost.
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For me, a hearty “belly laugh” is one of the beautiful sounds in the world.
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Gross ignorance is 144 times worse than ordinary ignorance.
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TV’s sameness has destroyed many things, such as the American urge toward independent thought.
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Good manners: The noise you don’t make when you’re eating soup.
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Banquet: a plate of cold, hairy chicken and artificially coloured green peas completely surrounded by dreary speeches and appeals for donations.
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Most of the things that are supposed to be so objectionable in books are things that every teenager, in the United States, not only knows, but has talked about at length in school, or on the way home from school.
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I think it’s become fashionable for the snobbish egghead today to make fun of television. I’ve heard many people, boast, “I would never have a television set in my house,” well, these people are fools.
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Politicians are like ships: noisiest when lost in a fog.
BENNETT CERF