“It’s as if they believe the invisible mike on the plastic menu screen is actually connected to a standup comedy stage somewhere in the recesses of the restaurant.”

Is there stop ‘n’ go counseling for couples on the run?

An intriguing mind is a powerful aphrodisiac.

So he’s above the law because he’s a celebrity or something. Just because you’re Russell Crowe doesn’t mean you can do whatever you like.

the teenage zone: the stage when an adolescent’s brain synapses quit firing while the rest of their body races toward adulthood.

have you ever noticed how a man orders food at a fast-food drive-through window? … men have an innate desire to be cute while placing their order through the drive-through microphone.

In Mexico, everything on the menu is the same dish. The only difference is the way it’s folded.

I sent her a bottle of the most expensive wine on the menu. She sent me a note: “I will not touch a drop of this wine unless you can assure me that you have seven inches in your pants. ” So I wrote back: “Give me the wine. As gorgeous as you are, I’m not cutting off three inches for anyone.

But that’s a side effect of alcohol, isn’t it? Stopping to think about other people is not on the bar menu.

In the menu, there should be a climax and a culmination. Come to it gently. One will suffice.

The menu is not the meal.