black
grey
blue
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Maybe the new me will be different.

Beatrice Sparks

My biggest mistake: not wanting to help myself into thinking I am happy, that change would come about without really trying to change, or wanting to change. Procrastinating about changing. I do want to change.
BEATRICE SPARKS

Mistakes Thinking Trying
She didn’t know whether she was running away from something or running to something, but she admitted that deep in her heart she wanted to go home.
BEATRICE SPARKS

Heart Home Running
Nobody’s talking to me, but nobody’s hassling me either. I guess you can’t have everything.
BEATRICE SPARKS

Everything Guess Nobody Talking
I guess I’ll never measure up to anyone’s expectations. I surely don’t measure up to what I’d like to be.
BEATRICE SPARKS

Expectations Like Measure
I’m afraid to live and afraid to die.
BEATRICE SPARKS

Afraid Dies Live
Even my parents treat me like I’m stupid and inferior and ever short. I guess I’ll never measure up to anyone’s expectations. I surely don’t measure up to what I’d like to be.
BEATRICE SPARKS

Even Expectation Inferior Measure
How can thoughts hurt so much when they aren’t even physical?
BEATRICE SPARKS

Hurt Physical Thought
The voice of every kid hooked on drugs, alcohol or the occult joins the sad chorus “Not me! I didn’t think it could ever happen to me. I was sure I could handle it.
BEATRICE SPARKS

Kids Thinking Voice
It’s a good thing most people bleed on the inside or this would be a gory, blood-smeared earth.
BEATRICE SPARKS

Blood Life People
Sometimes I think we’re all trying to be shadows of each other, trying to buy the same records and everything even if we don’t like them. Kids are like robots, off an assembly line, and I don’t want to be a robot!
BEATRICE SPARKS

Assembly Everything Record Robot Same Shadow
I’ve got to sleep. Sleep is my only way to escape.
BEATRICE SPARKS

Escape Sleep Way
I really am only one infinitely small part of an aching humanity.
BEATRICE SPARKS

Humanity Small Parts
Lying – remembering beauty in truth.
BEATRICE SPARKS

Beauty Lying Remember Truth
I’m not really sure which parts of myself are real and which parts are things I’ve gotten from books.
BEATRICE SPARKS

Book Part Real Really
I wouldn’t intentionally hurt anyone in this whole world. I wouldn’t hurt them physically or emotionally, how then can people so consistently do it to me?
BEATRICE SPARKS

Hurt People Stupid
I feel like Alice in Wonderland. Maybe Lewis G Carroll was on drugs too.
BEATRICE SPARKS

Drug Feels Wonderland

Maybe the new me will be different.

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Maybe the new me will be different.

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