black
grey
blue
red
brown
white

Maybe the new me will be different.

Beatrice Sparks

I’m partly somebody else trying to fit in and say the right things and do the right thing and be in the right place and wear what everybody else is wearing.
BEATRICE SPARKS

Kids Shadow Thinking
How can thoughts hurt so much when they aren’t even physical?
BEATRICE SPARKS

Hurt Physical Thought
I pretend I’ve got lots of confidence and I’m a big jock and like that but deep inside I’m a frightened, insecure, can’t-make-it failure.
BEATRICE SPARKS

Frightened Insecure Jocks
The complete bottom has fallen out of my life.
BEATRICE SPARKS

Bottom Complete Fallen Life
one day I’ll be old, without ever having really been young
BEATRICE SPARKS

Old One Day Young
Nobody’s talking to me, but nobody’s hassling me either. I guess you can’t have everything.
BEATRICE SPARKS

Everything Guess Nobody Talking
The voice of every kid hooked on drugs, alcohol or the occult joins the sad chorus “Not me! I didn’t think it could ever happen to me. I was sure I could handle it.
BEATRICE SPARKS

Kids Thinking Voice
Alone. The saddest word in the world.
BEATRICE SPARKS

Saddest World
She didn’t know whether she was running away from something or running to something, but she admitted that deep in her heart she wanted to go home.
BEATRICE SPARKS

Heart Home Running
This morning when I left Mom’s parting words were, “Come straight home after school.” Wow! Like I’m going to get stoned at 3:30—it doesn’t sound so bad at that.
BEATRICE SPARKS

Home Mom Morning
I can’t believe that I changed so little. I expected to look old and hollow and gray, but I guess it’s only me on the inside that has shriveled and deteriorated.
BEATRICE SPARKS

Believe Littles Looks
Sometimes fantasies are better than life.
BEATRICE SPARKS

Better Fantasy Life Sometimes
They have accepted me as an individual, as a personality, as an entity. I belong! I am important! I am somebody!
BEATRICE SPARKS

Important Individual Personality Something
Why is life so difficult? Why can’t we be just ourselves and have everyone accept us the way we are?
BEATRICE SPARKS

Accepting Difficult Way
I’m really cracking. No, I’m beyond cracking. I’m shattered. I’m lost. I’m fragmented.
BEATRICE SPARKS

Fragmented Lost Shattered
I feel like Alice in Wonderland. Maybe Lewis G Carroll was on drugs too.
BEATRICE SPARKS

Drug Feels Wonderland

Maybe the new me will be different.

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Maybe the new me will be different.

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