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I bet the pill is harder to get than drugs–which shows how screwed up this world really is!

Beatrice Sparks

This morning when I left Mom’s parting words were, “Come straight home after school.” Wow! Like I’m going to get stoned at 3:30—it doesn’t sound so bad at that.
BEATRICE SPARKS

Home Mom Morning
I’ve got to sleep. Sleep is my only way to escape.
BEATRICE SPARKS

Escape Sleep Way
Even my parents treat me like I’m stupid and inferior and ever short. I guess I’ll never measure up to anyone’s expectations. I surely don’t measure up to what I’d like to be.
BEATRICE SPARKS

Even Expectation Inferior Measure
I would like to stay stoned all the time, it scares me it’s so good. I would like to stay stoned every minute of every day for the rest of my life.
BEATRICE SPARKS

Good Life Minutes Rest Scare
Alone. The saddest word in the world.
BEATRICE SPARKS

Saddest World
They don’t think “I care,” “I hurt,” or “I have feelings.” It just seems like I’m always “wrong,” always “selfish,” always “self-centered” and everything else that’s negative and destructive.
BEATRICE SPARKS

Hurt Selfish Thinking
How is it possible for me to be so miserable and embarrassed and humiliated and beaten an function still talk and smile and concentrate?
BEATRICE SPARKS

Embarrassed Function Miserable
one day I’ll be old, without ever having really been young
BEATRICE SPARKS

Old One Day Young
How can thoughts hurt so much when they aren’t even physical?
BEATRICE SPARKS

Hurt Physical Thought
I’m not really sure which parts of myself are real and which parts are things I’ve gotten from books.
BEATRICE SPARKS

Book Part Real Really
Nobody’s talking to me, but nobody’s hassling me either. I guess you can’t have everything.
BEATRICE SPARKS

Everything Guess Nobody Talking
I pretend I’ve got lots of confidence and I’m a big jock and like that but deep inside I’m a frightened, insecure, can’t-make-it failure.
BEATRICE SPARKS

Frightened Insecure Jocks
I’m afraid to live and afraid to die.
BEATRICE SPARKS

Afraid Dies Live
She didn’t know whether she was running away from something or running to something, but she admitted that deep in her heart she wanted to go home.
BEATRICE SPARKS

Heart Home Running
I feel like Alice in Wonderland. Maybe Lewis G Carroll was on drugs too.
BEATRICE SPARKS

Drug Feels Wonderland
Sometimes fantasies are better than life.
BEATRICE SPARKS

Better Fantasy Life Sometimes
I bet the pill is harder to get than drugs–which shows how screwed up this world really is!
BEATRICE SPARKS

Drugs Harder Pills Show World
I can’t believe that I changed so little. I expected to look old and hollow and gray, but I guess it’s only me on the inside that has shriveled and deteriorated.
BEATRICE SPARKS

Believe Littles Looks
I guess I’ll never measure up to anyone’s expectations. I surely don’t measure up to what I’d like to be.
BEATRICE SPARKS

Expectations Like Measure
Lying – remembering beauty in truth.
BEATRICE SPARKS

Beauty Lying Remember Truth
My biggest mistake: not wanting to help myself into thinking I am happy, that change would come about without really trying to change, or wanting to change. Procrastinating about changing. I do want to change.
BEATRICE SPARKS

Mistakes Thinking Trying
I’m really cracking. No, I’m beyond cracking. I’m shattered. I’m lost. I’m fragmented.
BEATRICE SPARKS

Fragmented Lost Shattered
Sometimes I think we’re all trying to be shadows of each other, trying to buy the same records and everything even if we don’t like them. Kids are like robots, off an assembly line, and I don’t want to be a robot!
BEATRICE SPARKS

Assembly Everything Record Robot Same Shadow
I really am only one infinitely small part of an aching humanity.
BEATRICE SPARKS

Humanity Small Parts
They have accepted me as an individual, as a personality, as an entity. I belong! I am important! I am somebody!
BEATRICE SPARKS

Important Individual Personality Something
Why is life so difficult? Why can’t we be just ourselves and have everyone accept us the way we are?
BEATRICE SPARKS

Accepting Difficult Way
I’m partly somebody else trying to fit in and say the right things and do the right thing and be in the right place and wear what everybody else is wearing.
BEATRICE SPARKS

Kids Shadow Thinking

I bet the pill is harder to get than drugs–which shows how screwed up this world really is!

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I bet the pill is harder to get than drugs–which shows how screwed up this world really is!

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Popular Authors

More Beatrice Sparks Quotes