Jacob is a German Shepherd. (I have never understood why they aren’t called German Sheepdogs. What do the Germans call shepherds?)
ALAN CORENWhy they emigrated is not exactly clear, but many scholars believe it was because they saw the way Sweden was going, i.e. neutral.
More Alan Coren Quotes
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10.30 Newsnight: What Are The Chances Of World War Three Breaking Out After You Have Gone To Bed?
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Ethnically, the Germans are Teutonic… being made up of Vandals, Gepidae, and Goths, all of whom emigrated – south from Sweden in about 500 BC.
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But even today, ninety per cent of the items covered by the word are forgettable objects in which cigarettes can be left to go stale.
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To have a grievance is to have a purpose in life.
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Malta is the only country in the world where the local delicacy is the bread.
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Enjoy your life today because yesterday had gone and tomorrow may never come.
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Having lost the last war, they are currently enjoying a “Wirtschaftswunder,” which can be briefly translated as “The best way to own a Mercedes is to build one.”
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It is a magic carpet under which everything has been swept.
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A humorist tells himself every morning, “I hope it’s going to be a rough day.” When things are going well, it’s much harder to make the right jokes.
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Why they emigrated is not exactly clear, but many scholars believe it was because they saw the way Sweden was going, i.e. neutral.
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I sometimes wonder if the manufacturers of foolproof items keep a fool or two on their payroll to test things.
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Being a personality is not the same thing as having a personality.
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The role of humour is to make people fall down and writhe on the Axminster, and that is the top and bottom of it.
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There are many mysteries in old age but the greatest, surely, is this: in those adverts for walk-in bathtubs, why doesn’t all the water gush out when you get in?
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Strictly speaking, the land does not exist; it is merely dehydrated sea.
ALAN COREN