The role of humour is to make people fall down and writhe on the Axminster, and that is the top and bottom of it.
ALAN CORENWhy they emigrated is not exactly clear, but many scholars believe it was because they saw the way Sweden was going, i.e. neutral.
More Alan Coren Quotes
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Ethnically, the Germans are Teutonic… being made up of Vandals, Gepidae, and Goths, all of whom emigrated – south from Sweden in about 500 BC.
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Malta is the only country in the world where the local delicacy is the bread.
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Enjoy your life today because yesterday had gone and tomorrow may never come.
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All I know of birds to this date is that sparrows are the ones that are not pigeons.
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Disneyworld… is a historical reconstruction as sanitised as the Kremlin’s, and a future vision as uncognisant of contemporary pointers as Peter Pan’s.
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A humorist tells himself every morning, “I hope it’s going to be a rough day.” When things are going well, it’s much harder to make the right jokes.
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Since both its national products, snow and chocolate, melt, the cuckoo clock was invented solely in order to give tourists something solid to remember it by.
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Why they emigrated is not exactly clear, but many scholars believe it was because they saw the way Sweden was going, i.e. neutral.
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10.30 Newsnight: What Are The Chances Of World War Three Breaking Out After You Have Gone To Bed?
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Inside this hothouse, huge lascivious orchids slide sensuously up the sweating windows, passion-flowers cross-pollinate in wild heliotrope abandon, lotuses writhe with poppies in the sweet warm beds.
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Democracy consists of choosing your dictators, after they’ve told you what you think it is you want to hear.
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English Bohemianism is a curiously unluscious fruit.
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Being a personality is not the same thing as having a personality.
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Jacob is a German Shepherd. (I have never understood why they aren’t called German Sheepdogs. What do the Germans call shepherds?)
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Strictly speaking, the land does not exist; it is merely dehydrated sea.
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