Kumquats ripen, open and plop flatly to the floor-and outside, in a neat, trimly-hoed kitchen-garden.
ALAN COREN
Jacob is a German Shepherd. (I have never understood why they aren’t called German Sheepdogs. What do the Germans call shepherds?)
More Alan Coren Quotes
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Kumquats ripen, open and plop flatly to the floor-and outside, in a neat, trimly-hoed kitchen-garden.
ALAN COREN -
Strictly speaking, the land does not exist; it is merely dehydrated sea.
ALAN COREN -
It is a magic carpet under which everything has been swept.
ALAN COREN -
Malta is the only country in the world where the local delicacy is the bread.
ALAN COREN -
Being a personality is not the same thing as having a personality.
ALAN COREN -
Television is more interesting than people. If it were not we should have people standing in the corner of our room.
ALAN COREN -
Since both its national products, snow and chocolate, melt, the cuckoo clock was invented solely in order to give tourists something solid to remember it by.
ALAN COREN -
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Ethnically, the Germans are Teutonic… being made up of Vandals, Gepidae, and Goths, all of whom emigrated – south from Sweden in about 500 BC.
ALAN COREN -
To have a grievance is to have a purpose in life.
ALAN COREN -
Why they emigrated is not exactly clear, but many scholars believe it was because they saw the way Sweden was going, i.e. neutral.
ALAN COREN -
But even today, ninety per cent of the items covered by the word are forgettable objects in which cigarettes can be left to go stale.
ALAN COREN -
A humorist tells himself every morning, “I hope it’s going to be a rough day.” When things are going well, it’s much harder to make the right jokes.
ALAN COREN -
Jacob is a German Shepherd. (I have never understood why they aren’t called German Sheepdogs. What do the Germans call shepherds?)
ALAN COREN -
English Bohemianism is a curiously unluscious fruit.
ALAN COREN -
All I know of birds to this date is that sparrows are the ones that are not pigeons.
ALAN COREN