But even today, ninety per cent of the items covered by the word are forgettable objects in which cigarettes can be left to go stale.
ALAN CORENStrictly speaking, the land does not exist; it is merely dehydrated sea.
More Alan Coren Quotes
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It is a magic carpet under which everything has been swept.
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Kumquats ripen, open and plop flatly to the floor-and outside, in a neat, trimly-hoed kitchen-garden.
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The word “souvenir” has, of course, slightly extended itself in meaning until it now denotes almost anything either breakable or useless.
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To have a grievance is to have a purpose in life.
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I sometimes wonder if the manufacturers of foolproof items keep a fool or two on their payroll to test things.
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A humorist tells himself every morning, “I hope it’s going to be a rough day.” When things are going well, it’s much harder to make the right jokes.
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Strictly speaking, the land does not exist; it is merely dehydrated sea.
ALAN COREN -
Being a personality is not the same thing as having a personality.
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Ethnically, the Germans are Teutonic… being made up of Vandals, Gepidae, and Goths, all of whom emigrated – south from Sweden in about 500 BC.
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Enjoy your life today because yesterday had gone and tomorrow may never come.
ALAN COREN -
English Bohemianism is a curiously unluscious fruit.
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Malta is the only country in the world where the local delicacy is the bread.
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Since both its national products, snow and chocolate, melt, the cuckoo clock was invented solely in order to give tourists something solid to remember it by.
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10.30 Newsnight: What Are The Chances Of World War Three Breaking Out After You Have Gone To Bed?
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Television is more interesting than people. If it were not we should have people standing in the corner of our room.
ALAN COREN