I sometimes wonder if the manufacturers of foolproof items keep a fool or two on their payroll to test things.
ALAN CORENI sometimes wonder if the manufacturers of foolproof items keep a fool or two on their payroll to test things.
ALAN CORENDisneyworld… is a historical reconstruction as sanitised as the Kremlin’s, and a future vision as uncognisant of contemporary pointers as Peter Pan’s.
ALAN CORENSince both its national products, snow and chocolate, melt, the cuckoo clock was invented solely in order to give tourists something solid to remember it by.
ALAN CORENBeing a personality is not the same thing as having a personality.
ALAN CORENTo have a grievance is to have a purpose in life.
ALAN CORENEnjoy your life today because yesterday had gone and tomorrow may never come.
ALAN CORENThe Act of God designation on all insurance policies; which means, roughly, that you cannot be insured for the accidents that are most likely to happen to you.
ALAN CORENStrictly speaking, the land does not exist; it is merely dehydrated sea.
ALAN CORENAll I know of birds to this date is that sparrows are the ones that are not pigeons.
ALAN CORENThe role of humour is to make people fall down and writhe on the Axminster, and that is the top and bottom of it.
ALAN CORENWhy they emigrated is not exactly clear, but many scholars believe it was because they saw the way Sweden was going, i.e. neutral.
ALAN CORENA humorist tells himself every morning, “I hope it’s going to be a rough day.” When things are going well, it’s much harder to make the right jokes.
ALAN CORENMalta is the only country in the world where the local delicacy is the bread.
ALAN CORENTelevision is more interesting than people. If it were not we should have people standing in the corner of our room.
ALAN CORENKumquats ripen, open and plop flatly to the floor-and outside, in a neat, trimly-hoed kitchen-garden.
ALAN COREN10.30 Newsnight: What Are The Chances Of World War Three Breaking Out After You Have Gone To Bed?
ALAN COREN