“One of the most heinous, insidious lies is the notion that you have to be an asshole to be a successful business person.”

It has been said that the great scientific disciplines are examples of giants standing on the shoulders of other giants.

Run for your lives-the computers are invading. Awesomely powerful computers tackling ever more important tasks with awkward, old-fashioned interfaces.

There is little difference technically between a complicated, confusing program and a simple, fun, and powerful product.

If we want users to like our software we should design it to behave like a likeable person: respectful, generous and helpful.

The things like that we could fight about, we really don’t. We are pretty lucky for that.

I just try and learn to be a good husband and be a good father before I am a good rock star. That means saying no to certain things that go with the business.

Touring hard and then working on putting the next one out. I don’t need to break. I just need to put a record out.

English bohemians sit in cold orderly rows, like carrots.

While making art you should just do what is in your heart.

Well madam, have you looked in the mirror and seen the state of your nose? Boxing is my excuse. What’s yours?

If you are making a chair, the sandpaper can make it smoother. But no amount of sandpaper will turn a chair into a table.

Computers no longer interface with humans–they interact, and the interaction will become steadily deeper, more subtle, and more crucial to our collective sanity and ultimate survival.

Past dreams of bliss our lives contain, And slight the chords that still retain A heart estranged to joys again,

Usability methods are like sandpapering a chair.

In turn, we will be tempted to kill our computers, but we won’t dare because we are already utterly, irreversibly dependent on these hopeful monsters that make modern life possible.

You Don’t Have to Go Home from Work Exhausted!

I hire people that are good, and aren’t crazy. Or assholes. Because that takes up too much time. There are just as many good people who are not crazy.

Being drunk is a good disguise. I drink so I can talk to assholes. This includes me.

A drug is not bad. A drug is a chemical compound. The problem comes in when people who take drugs treat them like a license to behave like an asshole.

I’m not mad. I’m in a perfectly happy mood, you asshole.

After I quit drinking, I realized I am the same asshole I always was; I just have fewer dents in my car.

I wonder what chairs think about all day: “Oh, here comes another asshole