If you think squash is a competitive activity, try flower arranging.
ALAN BENNETTWe have fish and chips, which W. and I fetch from the shop in Settle market-place.
More Alan Bennett Quotes
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f they’d been working with Alec Guinness, for instance, they wouldn’t have known they were born if they’d not towed the line!
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We still don’t like to admit the war was even partly our fault because so many of our people died.
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But most men regard their life as a poem that women threaten.
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That’s a bit like asking a man crawling across the Sahara whether he would prefer Perrier or Malvern water.
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Were we closer to the ground as children, or is the grass emptier now?
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We don’t see it, and because we don’t see it this means that there is no period so remote as the recent past.
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The thing I think about is that once you’ve done it, you then start to think about what you’re going to do next.
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To play Trivial Pursuit with a life like mine could be said to be a form of homeopathy.
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There are more microbes per person than the entire population of the world.
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I think perhaps that’s why I live in Ibiza, because the blue of the Mediterranean, you see, reminds me of the blue of the eyes of those Doncaster miners.
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At the drabber moments of my life (swilling some excrement from the steps, for instance, or rooting with a bent coat-hanger down a blocked sink) thoughts occur like.
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Of course they’re out of date. Standards are always out of date. That is what makes them standards.
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It seems to me the mark of a civilized society that certain privileges should be taken for granted such as education, health care and the safety to walk the streets.
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I’ve never forgotten that experience. But I had nobody at school that was either like Hector or Irwin.
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Have you ever thought, headmaster, that your standards might perhaps be a little out of date?
ALAN BENNETT