We started off trying to set up a small anarchist community, but people wouldn’t obey the rules.
ALAN BENNETTBut most men regard their life as a poem that women threaten.
More Alan Bennett Quotes
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So boring you fall asleep halfway through her name.
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The best moments in reading are when you come across something – a thought, a feeling, a way of looking at things – which you had thought special and particular to you.
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Put him in a nice detached villa and he’d never have written a word.
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A bookshelf is as particular to its owner as are his or her clothes; a personality is stamped on a library just as a shoe is shaped by the foot.
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Because you should realise the Cenotaph and the Last Post and all that stuff is concerned, there’s no better way of forgetting something than by commemorating it.
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Of course they’re out of date. Standards are always out of date. That is what makes them standards.
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Mark my words, when a society has to resort to the lavatory for its humour, the writing is on the wall.
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Artists, celebrated for their humanity, they turn out to be scarcely human at all.
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A book is a device to ignite the imagination.
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I think perhaps that’s why I live in Ibiza, because the blue of the Mediterranean, you see, reminds me of the blue of the eyes of those Doncaster miners.
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They may not have two spondees to rub together but they still want to pen their saga untrammelled by life-threatening activities like trailing round Sainsbury’s, emptying the dishwasher or going to the nativity play.
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A composite too are the neighbours, Pauline and Rufus, though I have made Rufus a publisher in remembrance of my neighbour, the late Colin Haycraft, the proprietor of Duckworth’s.
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History is a commentary on the various and continuing incapabilities of men. What is history? History is women following behind with the bucket.
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I write plays about things that I can’t resolve in my mind. I try to root things out.
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I think the writer’s quite low down in the hierarchy really. But the fact that they took the piss out of Nicholas [Hynter] who, besides being the director, is also director of the National Theatre is, I’d have thought, slightly more risky.
ALAN BENNETT






