Mark my words, when a society has to resort to the lavatory for its humour, the writing is on the wall.
ALAN BENNETTFar from wanting time to pass, one just wishes one had more of it. If one wanted to pass the time one could go to New Zealand.
More Alan Bennett Quotes
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Reading is untidy, discursive and perpetually inviting. Briefing closes down a subject, reading opens it up.
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A composite too are the neighbours, Pauline and Rufus, though I have made Rufus a publisher in remembrance of my neighbour, the late Colin Haycraft, the proprietor of Duckworth’s.
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We still don’t like to admit the war was even partly our fault because so many of our people died.
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It’s much easier to follow something that’s not been as successful as this.
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Life is rather like a tin of sardines – we’re all of us looking for the key.
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No mention of God. They keep Him up their sleeves for as long as they can, vicars do. They know it puts people off.
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A book is a device to ignite the imagination.
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One of the hardest things for a teacher to learn is not to try and tell them.
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…she felt about reading what some writers felt about writing: that it was impossible not to do it and that at this late stage of her life she had been chosen to read as others were chosen to write.
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I have never understood disliking for war. It panders to instincts already catered for within the scope of any respectable domestic establishment.
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We have fish and chips, which W. and I fetch from the shop in Settle market-place.
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Here I sit, alone at 60, Bald and fat and full of sin Cold the seat, and loud the cistern As I read the (Harpic) (Lysol) tin
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I was an only child. I lost both my parents. By the time I was twenty I was bald. I’m homosexual.
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At the drabber moments of my life (swilling some excrement from the steps, for instance, or rooting with a bent coat-hanger down a blocked sink) thoughts occur like.
ALAN BENNETT -
I’m for the freedom of expression, given that it will be under strict control.
ALAN BENNETT