Mark my words, when a society has to resort to the lavatory for its humour, the writing is on the wall.
ALAN BENNETTOf course my standards are out of date! That’s why they’re called standards.
More Alan Bennett Quotes
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To play Trivial Pursuit with a life like mine could be said to be a form of homeopathy.
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So boring you fall asleep halfway through her name.
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Only when I mention it to W. does he explain Kestrel is now a lager. I imagine the future is going to contain an increasing number of incidents like this.
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Imagine that. Per person. This means that if the time scale is diminished in proportion to that of space it would be quite possible for the whole story of Greece and Rome to be played out between farts.
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In the way of circumstances and background to transcend I had everything an artist could possibly want. It was practically a blueprint.
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Reading is untidy, discursive and perpetually inviting.
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Books, bread and butter, mashed potato – one finishes what’s on one’s plate. That’s always been my philosophy.
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Reading is untidy, discursive and perpetually inviting. Briefing closes down a subject, reading opens it up.
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The Waste Land not figuring very largely in Mam’s scheme of things. “The thing is,” I said finally, “he won the Nobel Prize.” “Well,” she said, with that unerring grasp of inessentials which is the prerogative of mothers, “I’m not surprised. It was a beautiful overcoat.”
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The days weren’t long enough for the reading she wanted to do.
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There’s very little in the substance of [THE LADY IN THE VAN] which is not fact though some adjustments have had to be made.
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It was the kind of library he had only read about in books.
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We have fish and chips, which W. and I fetch from the shop in Settle market-place.
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All the effort went into getting there and then I had nothing left. I thought I’d got somewhere, then I found I had to go on.
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Polly: Education with socialists, it’s like sex, all right as long as you don’t have to pay for it.
ALAN BENNETT