Over the years Miss Shepherd was visited by a succession of social workers so the character in the play is a composite figure.
ALAN BENNETTThey may not have two spondees to rub together but they still want to pen their saga untrammelled by life-threatening activities like trailing round Sainsbury’s, emptying the dishwasher or going to the nativity play.
More Alan Bennett Quotes
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And now, here it is, set down by someone else, a person you have never met, someone even who is long dead. And it is as if a hand has come out, and taken yours
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The Waste Land not figuring very largely in Mam’s scheme of things. “The thing is,” I said finally, “he won the Nobel Prize.” “Well,” she said, with that unerring grasp of inessentials which is the prerogative of mothers, “I’m not surprised. It was a beautiful overcoat.”
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My school was a state school in Leeds and the headmaster usually sent students to Leeds University but he didn’t normally send them to Oxford or Cambridge.
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You always know when you’re going to arrive. If you go by car, you don’t. Apart from anything else, I prefer cycling. It puts you in a good mood, I find.
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I suppose I’m the only person who remembers one of the most exciting of his ballets-it’s the fruit of an unlikely collaboration between Nijinsky on the one hand and Sir Arthur Conan Doyle on the other.
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Have you ever thought, headmaster, that your standards might perhaps be a little out of date?
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Mark my words, when a society has to resort to the lavatory for its humour, the writing is on the wall.
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I’ve never seen the point of the sea, except where it meets the land. The shore has a point. The sea has none.
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Nature played a cruel trick on her by giving her a waxed mustache.
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Once I start a book I finish it. That was the way one was brought up.
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No mention of God. They keep Him up their sleeves for as long as they can, vicars do. They know it puts people off.
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Had your forefathers, Wigglesworth, been as stupid as you are, the human race would never have succeeded in procreating itself.
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Of course my standards are out of date! That’s why they’re called standards.
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Knowing as their own dusk falls that they will only be remembered for remembering someone else.
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The liturgy is best treated and read as if it’s someone announcing the departure of trains.
ALAN BENNETT