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History is a commentary on the various and continuing incapabilities of men. What is history? History is women following behind with the bucket.

Alan Bennett

The Waste Land not figuring very largely in Mam’s scheme of things. “The thing is,” I said finally, “he won the Nobel Prize.” “Well,” she said, with that unerring grasp of inessentials which is the prerogative of mothers, “I’m not surprised. It was a beautiful overcoat.”
ALAN BENNETT

Beautiful Figure Final Grasp Inessential Land Large Nobel Overcoat Prerogative Prize Scheme Thing Waste
Never read the Bible as if it means something. Or at any rate don’t try and mean it. Nor prayers.
ALAN BENNETT

Bible Mean never Nor Prayer Rate Read Something
Why do we not care to acknowledge them? The cattle, the body count.
ALAN BENNETT

Acknowledge Care Cattle Count Foo
In the way of circumstances and background to transcend I had everything an artist could possibly want. It was practically a blueprint.
ALAN BENNETT

Artist Background Blueprint Circumstance Everything Particular Possible Transcend Want Way
You don’t put your life into your books, you find it there.
ALAN BENNETT

Book Find Into Life Put
My experience came before most of you were born.
ALAN BENNETT

Before Born Came Experience
If you find yourself born in Barnsley and then set your sights on being Virginia Woolf it is not going to be roses all the way.
ALAN BENNETT

Being Born Find Go People Rose Sight Virginia Way Wool Yourself
Life is rather like a tin of sardines – we’re all of us looking for the key.
ALAN BENNETT

Key Life Look Rather Sardine Tin
We started off trying to set up a small anarchist community, but people wouldn’t obey the rules.
ALAN BENNETT

Anarchist Community Obey People Rule Small Start Try
Kafka could never have written as he did had he lived in a house.
ALAN BENNETT

House Live never Write
We don’t see it, and because we don’t see it this means that there is no period so remote as the recent past.
ALAN BENNETT

Down Mean No Past Period Recent Remote See
You must take people as they come. Remember, too that though you will generally know more about the condition than the patient, it is the patient who has the condition and this if nothing else bestows on him or her a kind of wisdom.
ALAN BENNETT

Condition Else Generally Kind Nothing Patient People Remember Wisdom
So, half a dozen of us tried – not all of us in history – and we all eventually got in. So, to that extent, it [The History Boys] comes out of my own experience.
ALAN BENNETT

Dozen Eventually Experience Extent Half History Own Try
It [Cambridge] wasn’t a holy grail in the sense that I’d never been to Cambridge.
ALAN BENNETT

Been Cambridge Grail Holy never Sense
Soft Left, Hard Right, Soft Right and Centre. I am not listed. I should probably come under Soft Centre.
ALAN BENNETT

Come Hard Left List Probably Right Soft Under
Far from wanting time to pass, one just wishes one had more of it. If one wanted to pass the time one could go to New Zealand.
ALAN BENNETT

Country More Pass Time Want Wish

History is a commentary on the various and continuing incapabilities of men. What is history? History is women following behind with the bucket.

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History is a commentary on the various and continuing incapabilities of men. What is history? History is women following behind with the bucket.

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