Had your forefathers, Wigglesworth, been as stupid as you are, the human race would never have succeeded in procreating itself.
ALAN BENNETTHistory is a commentary on the various and continuing incapabilities of men. What is history? History is women following behind with the bucket.
More Alan Bennett Quotes
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Deluded liberal that I am, I persist in thinking that those with a streak of sexual unorthodoxy ought to be more tolerant of their fellows than those who lead an entirely godly, righteous and sober life.
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Over the years Miss Shepherd was visited by a succession of social workers so the character in the play is a composite figure.
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Schweitzer in the Congo did not derive more moral credit than Larkin did for living in Hull.
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…she felt about reading what some writers felt about writing: that it was impossible not to do it and that at this late stage of her life she had been chosen to read as others were chosen to write.
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You have the knowledge but that does not entitle you to be superior. Knowledge makes you the servant not the master.
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I’m not “happy” but I’m not unhappy about it.
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There is no such thing as a good script, onlya good film, and I’m conscious that my scripts often read better than they play.
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Far from wanting time to pass, one just wishes one had more of it. If one wanted to pass the time one could go to New Zealand.
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The best moments in reading are when you come across something – a thought, a feeling, a way of looking at things – which you had thought special and particular to you.
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A book is a device to ignite the imagination.
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I’m all in favour of free expression provided it’s kept rigidly under control.
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All the effort went into getting there and then I had nothing left. I thought I’d got somewhere, then I found I had to go on.
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[B]riefing is not reading. In fact it is the antithesis of reading. Briefing is terse, factual and to the point.
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Soft Left, Hard Right, Soft Right and Centre. I am not listed. I should probably come under Soft Centre.
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His writing is that of someone whose whole life was spent in apartments, with lifts, stairwells, muffled voices behind closed doors, and sounds through walls.
ALAN BENNETT






