Children always assume the sexual lives of their parents come to a grinding halt at their conception.
ALAN BENNETTAt the drabber moments of my life (swilling some excrement from the steps, for instance, or rooting with a bent coat-hanger down a blocked sink) thoughts occur like.
More Alan Bennett Quotes
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Nature played a cruel trick on her by giving her a waxed mustache.
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[talking about the Holocaust] ‘But to put something in context is a step towards saying it can be understood and that it can be explained.
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We were put to Dickens as children but it never quite took. That unremitting humanity soon had me cheesed off.
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You must take people as they come. Remember, too that though you will generally know more about the condition than the patient, it is the patient who has the condition and this if nothing else bestows on him or her a kind of wisdom.
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My experience came before most of you were born.
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An article on playwrights in the Daily Mail , listed according to Hard Left,
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Put him in a nice detached villa and he’d never have written a word.
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However bad the weather, Dad never drove to church because Mam thought the sacrament might make him incapable on the return journey.
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I had no idea of who could play it, no notion really. Then Richard came to see us but I don’t think it was decided at that meeting.
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Cancer, like any other illness, is a bore.
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A bookshelf is as particular to its owner as are his or her clothes; a personality is stamped on a library just as a shoe is shaped by the foot.
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Had your forefathers, Wigglesworth, been as stupid as you are, the human race would never have succeeded in procreating itself.
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I wish they were like the White Rhinosix of them left in the Serengeti National Park, and all males.
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You have the knowledge but that does not entitle you to be superior. Knowledge makes you the servant not the master.
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His writing is that of someone whose whole life was spent in apartments, with lifts, stairwells, muffled voices behind closed doors, and sounds through walls.
ALAN BENNETT