Mark my words, when a society has to resort to the lavatory for its humour, the writing is on the wall.
ALAN BENNETTWe still don’t like to admit the war was even partly our fault because so many of our people died.
More Alan Bennett Quotes
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History is a commentary on the various and continuing incapabilities of men. What is history? History is women following behind with the bucket.
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You go to a book to have your convictions corroborated.
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Those who have known the famous are publicly debriefed of their memories.
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Culminating with a man in a white coat saying to one kindly, “And now can you tell me the name of the Prime Minister?”
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Philip Larkin used to cheer himself up by looking in the mirror and saying the line from Rebecca, ‘I am Mrs de Winter now!
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Put him in a nice detached villa and he’d never have written a word.
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A bookshelf is as particular to its owner as are his or her clothes; a personality is stamped on a library just as a shoe is shaped by the foot.
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Why is it always the “intelligent” people who are socialists?
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God doesn’t do notes, either. Did Jesus Christ say, “Can I be excused the Crucifixion?” No!
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So, half a dozen of us tried – not all of us in history – and we all eventually got in. So, to that extent, it [The History Boys] comes out of my own experience.
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Children always assume the sexual lives of their parents come to a grinding halt at their conception.
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One of the hardest things for a teacher to learn is not to try and tell them.
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And if it can be explained that it can be explained away.’ ‘But this is History. Distance yourselves.
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Kafka could never have written as he did had he lived in a house.
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I’ve never forgotten that experience. But I had nobody at school that was either like Hector or Irwin.
ALAN BENNETT






