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The attentions of others matter to us because we are afflicted by a congenital uncertainty as to our own value, as a result of which affliction we tend to allow others’ appraisals to play a determining role in how we see ourselves. Our sense of identity is held captive by the judgements of those we live among.

Alain de Botton

Related Topics

Affiche Appraisal Attention Congenital Determine Matter People Uncertainty

Bagwalas

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Most victories are, in the best way, acts of revenge.
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Act Best Most Revenge Victory Way
People only get really interesting when they start to rattle the bars of their cages.
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Bar Cage Interest People Rattle Really Start
I went to church and couldn’t swallow it. The music was nice but I don’t belong there.
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Belong Church Music Nice Swallow
A successful work will draw out the features capable of exciting a sense of beauty and interest in the spectator.
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Beauty Capable Excite Feature Sense Spectator Successful Work
The challenge of modern relationships: how to prove more interesting than the other’s smartphone.
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Challenge Interest Modern More Other Prove Relationship Smartphone
We need a refuge to shore up our states of mind, because so much of the world is opposed to our allegiances. We need our rooms to align us to desirable versions of ourselves and to keep alive the important, evanescent sides of us.
ALAIN DE BOTTON

Allegiance Desirable Important Mind Need Oppose Shore Site State Version World
Though it may feel otherwise, enjoying life is no more dangerous than apprehending it with continuous anxiety and gloom.
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Apprehend Continous Dangerous Enjoy Feel More Otherwise
Forgiveness requires a sense that bad behaviour is a sign of suffering rather than malice.
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Behaviour Forgive Malice Require Sense Sign Suffer
Most of us still caged within careers chosen for us by our not entirely worldly 18-22 year old selves.
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Cage Career Chosen Entirely Most Old Selve Still
The most attractive are not those who allow us to kiss them at once [we soon feel ungrateful] or those who never allow us to kiss them [we soon forget them], but those who coyly lead us between the two extremes.
ALAIN DE BOTTON

Allow Attractive Most Once Ungrateful
Literature is the greatest reality simulator – a machine that puts you through infinitely more situations than you can ever directly witness.
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Direct Great Literature Machine Put Reality Simulator Witness
The finest proof of our loyalty toward one another was our monstrous disloyalties towards everyone else.
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Another Disloyalty Everyone Finest Loyalty Monstrous Proof Toward
Perhaps it is true that we do not really exist until there is someone there to see us existing, we cannot properly speak until there is someone who can understand what we are saying in essence, we are not wholly alive until we are loved.
ALAIN DE BOTTON

Essence Exist Existing Love Perhaps Properly Someone Speak Until
Never too late to learn some embarrassingly basic, stupidly obvious things about oneself.
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Embarrassingly Learn never Oneself Some Stupid Thing
Reputation matters so much only because people so seldom think for themselves.
ALAIN DE BOTTON

Matter Much Only People Reputation Seldom Themselves
There is real danger of a disconnect between what’s on your business card and who you are deep inside, and it’s not a disconnect that the world is ready to be patient with.
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Business Card Danger Dep Disconnect Inside

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