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The attentions of others matter to us because we are afflicted by a congenital uncertainty as to our own value, as a result of which affliction we tend to allow others’ appraisals to play a determining role in how we see ourselves. Our sense of identity is held captive by the judgements of those we live among.

Alain de Botton

Related Topics

Affiche Appraisal Attention Congenital Determine Matter People Uncertainty

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

What am I supposed to do here? What am I supposed to think?
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Suppose Think
The very act of drawing an object, however badly, swiftly takes the drawer from a woolly sense of what the object looks like to a precise awareness of its component parts and particularities.
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Act Draw Drawer Like Look Object Sense Swiftly
Those who divorce aren’t necessarily the most unhappy, just those neatly able to believe their misery is caused by one other person.
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Belive Cause Divorce Most Neat Necessary Other Unhappy
Never too late to learn some embarrassingly basic, stupidly obvious things about oneself.
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Embarrassingly Learn never Oneself Some Stupid Thing
A successful work will draw out the features capable of exciting a sense of beauty and interest in the spectator.
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Beauty Capable Excite Feature Sense Spectator Successful Work
Our sadness won’t be of the searing kind but more like a blend of joy and melancholy: joy at the perfection we see before us, melancholy at an awareness of how seldom we are sufficiently blessed to encounter anything of its kind.
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Before Blend Define Joy Melancholy Perfection Sadness Sear
As an atheist, I think there are lots of things religions get up to which are of value to non-believers – and one of those things is trying to be a bit better than we normally manage to be.
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Atheist Believer Non Normal One Religion Thing Try Value
Serious journalists often imagine society is adrift because people don’t know certain things.
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Adrift Certain Imaginem Society Journalist Serius Thing
It was no longer her absence that wounded me, but my growing indifference to it. Forgetting, however calming, was also a reminder of infidelity to what I had at one time held so dear.
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Absence Calm Forget Grow Identify Indifference Longer Reminder Time Wounded
Architects themselves tend to shy away from the word, preferring instead to talk about the manipulation of space.
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Architect Manipulation Prefer Shy Space Themselves Word
I passionately believe that’s it’s not just what you say that counts, it’s also how you say it – that the success of your argument critically depends on your manner of presenting it.
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Argument Believe Count Critical Manner Passionate Present Success
The greatest works of art speak to us without knowing us.
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Greatest Speak Without Know Work
Writing isn’t a career choice. It’s self-medication that over time precipitates the madness it was meant to ward off.
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Career Choice Education Mad Precipitate Ward Write
A virtuous, ordinary life, striving for wisdom but never far from folly, is achievement enough.
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Archive Enough Ordinary Strive Virtuous Wisdom
Only as we mature does affection begin to depend on achievement.
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Achievement Affection Begin Depend Mature
The only people we can think of as normal are those we don’t yet know very well.
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Normal Very Only People Think Well

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