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That’s something the kids should know about. Reading is a gateway to witchcraft and lesbianism.

Al Yankovic

I always try to put myself out of my comfort zone and out of my depth, and hopefully somewhere along the line I’ll catch up.
AL YANKOVIC

Along Catch Comfort Hopefully Somewhere Try
I don’t really look at myself as the kind of person who craves attention, but I’ve never been to therapy so there’s probably a lot of stuff about myself that I don’t know.
AL YANKOVIC

Attention Crave Look Person Probably Stuff Therapy
I’d like to be able to be more topical and timely and more of-the-moment and I think the way to do that is, instead of waiting until I have twelve songs to release all at once, just to release them as I come up with them.
AL YANKOVIC

Able Instead Moment More Release Song Think Timely Topical War
Right now I’m listening to a lot of Top 40 music, because THAT’S MY JOB.
AL YANKOVIC

Forty Job Listen Music Now Right Top
Kind of wish I was dead. Maybe, I’ll blow my brains out, mama, or maybe I’ll go bowling.
AL YANKOVIC

Blow Brain Kind Mama Maybe Suicide Wish
If you want to avoid heated arguments, never discuss religion, politics, or whether the toilet paper roll should go over or under.
AL YANKOVIC

Avoid Discuss Heat Paper Political Politics Religion Toilet
Well I’ve made no secret of my life long love of MAD Magazine, it’s probably my first and greatest influence in terms of my comic sensibilities. I’ve known John [Ficarra] for many years, and we’ve been friends.
AL YANKOVIC

Country First Great Influence Mad Made Nice Probably Secret Year
They somehow didn’t see the need for an accordion player. That’s when I realized that I had to find my own path in life.
AL YANKOVIC

According Life Need Own Path Player Realize Somehow
What kind of morons do you have working at newspapers in Austin that would base an entire review of an artist’s performance on whether or not they had a good seat?
AL YANKOVIC

Artist Attention Austin Kind More Music
My wife went off with Elvis.
AL YANKOVIC

Off Went Wife
There aren’t that many superstars around anymore.
AL YANKOVIC

Anyone Around Many Superstar
My process for the parodies is that I get an idea for a song and then get approval from the artist and then go in and record it and probably try to get it out as soon as possible.
AL YANKOVIC

Approval Artist Go Idea Parody Positive Process Record Song
As much as people are griping about the Internet taking sales away from artists, it’s been a huge promotional tool for me.
AL YANKOVIC

Artist Grip Huge Much People Promotion Tool
I love the way they run in fright when I turn on the kitchen light. And when I squish them on the ground, they make a pleasant crunchy sound.
AL YANKOVIC

Fright Ground Kitchen Light Love Pleasant Run Sound Squish
Every night for dinner we had a big chunk of dirt.
AL YANKOVIC

Big Chunk Dinner Dirt Every Night Reality
I’m still a geek on the inside, that’s the important thing.
AL YANKOVIC

Comedy Geek Important Inside Thing

That’s something the kids should know about. Reading is a gateway to witchcraft and lesbianism.

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That’s something the kids should know about. Reading is a gateway to witchcraft and lesbianism.

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