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That’s something the kids should know about. Reading is a gateway to witchcraft and lesbianism.

Al Yankovic

When I go to my live shows it’s often a multigenerational audience, a family bonding experience.
AL YANKOVIC

Experience Family Bond Live Show
It doesn’t take a military genius to see we’ll all be crispy critters after World War III.
AL YANKOVIC

Critter Genius Look Military Peace School Second War World
I tend to enunciate pretty well. It’s always seemed that my voice is one of those voices that people can recognize pretty easily – which has been a bit of a drawback for some characters.
AL YANKOVIC

Always Character Drawback Easily Enunciate People Pretty Recognize Seem Tenth Voice
I’m stranded all alone in the gas station of love, and I have to use the self service pump.
AL YANKOVIC

Gas Pump Self Service Station Stranded Use
Kind of wish I was dead. Maybe, I’ll blow my brains out, mama, or maybe I’ll go bowling.
AL YANKOVIC

Blow Brain Kind Mama Maybe Suicide Wish
As it turns out, there is a thing called the Internet, and stuff does go out there whether the suits like it or not.
AL YANKOVIC

Doe Internet Like Out Stuff Suit Turn
I don’t want to hear about this train being derailed! What happened to ‘The Flintstones’?’
AL YANKOVIC

Cartoon Derail Happen Hear Train Want
I try to pick songs that I actually like because I realize that I have to live with these songs for a long time, from when I’m working on them in the studio to possibly playing them onstage for the rest of my life.
AL YANKOVIC

Actual Life Long Onstage Pick Possible Realize Rest Song Studio Time Work
I start with a comprehensive list of all the recent songs that have been big hits – and then I go down that list and see if I can come up with funny ideas for them. I can always come up with ideas, but not necessarily good ones!
AL YANKOVIC

Been Big Down Hit Idea List Recent Song
I always try to put myself out of my comfort zone and out of my depth, and hopefully somewhere along the line I’ll catch up.
AL YANKOVIC

Along Catch Comfort Hopefully Somewhere Try
I like the guitar-driven music of Nirvana at its peak. At that point, I thought there was a lot of really exciting music coming out.
AL YANKOVIC

Coming Drive Excite Guitar Lot Music Nirvana Point
He put Ben Gay inside my jock strap and filled my tooth paste tube up with glue.
AL YANKOVIC

Gay Inside Jock Paste Revenge Strap Tooth Tube
Take down those naked pictures of Ernest Borgnine.
AL YANKOVIC

Down Naked Picture Take
You got me stranded on the bungee tower of love.
AL YANKOVIC

Bungee Love Lower Relationship Strand Tower
My brothers and sisters hated me because I was an only child.
AL YANKOVIC

Brother Children Hate Only Child Sister
I love the way they run in fright when I turn on the kitchen light. And when I squish them on the ground, they make a pleasant crunchy sound.
AL YANKOVIC

Fright Ground Kitchen Light Love Pleasant Run Sound Squish

That’s something the kids should know about. Reading is a gateway to witchcraft and lesbianism.

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That’s something the kids should know about. Reading is a gateway to witchcraft and lesbianism.

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