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There aren’t that many superstars around anymore.

Al Yankovic

I’d rather clean all the bathrooms in Grand Central Station with my tongue than spend one more minute with you.
AL YANKOVIC

Bathroom Clean Grand Minute Spend Station Tongue
A lot of rap songs don’t usually have a lot of melody per se.
AL YANKOVIC

Melody Rap Song Usually
No Joni Mitchell 8 track tapes in my car.
AL YANKOVIC

Car No Tape Track
There’s enough people that do unfunny music. I’ll leave the serious stuff to Paris Hilton and Kevin Federline.
AL YANKOVIC

Country Enough Music People Serious Stuff Unfunny
Sometimes I get, “Have you ever thought about doing real music?” I like to think the music I do is real, it just happens to be funny.
AL YANKOVIC

Funny Happen Music Real Sometimes Think Thought
Somebody will come up to me after a show and have me sign their arm, and the next time I see them my autograph has been permanently inscribed on their arm.
AL YANKOVIC

Arm Autograph Come Next Permanent Show Somebody Time Up
I did have a child, and I was reading a lot of picture books to her, but at the same time writing a children’s book was something that I’d been wanting to do for many years, pretty much since the start of my career.
AL YANKOVIC

Book Career Child Picture Pretty Raed Same Time Want Year
What kind of morons do you have working at newspapers in Austin that would base an entire review of an artist’s performance on whether or not they had a good seat?
AL YANKOVIC

Artist Attention Austin Kind More Music
Ever since the day you left me, I’ve been so miserable, my dear. I feel almost as bad as I did when you were still here.
AL YANKOVIC

Almost Dear Ever Feel Left Me Miserable Since You
You can try on our suede underwear if you choose. Do what you want, but don’t step on my blue suede shoes.
AL YANKOVIC

Choose Our Shoe Step Suede Underwear Want
I was able to come up with a couple articles for the magazine, I was able to solicit help from a bunch of my friends to contribute pieces: Patton Oswalt, Seth Green, Emo Phillips, Chris Hardwick, John Hodgman, and more.
AL YANKOVIC

Able Article Bunch Come Couple Friend Magazine Solicit
So that’s why one of my rules of parody writing is that it’s gotta be funny regardless of whether you know the source material. It has to work on its own merit.
AL YANKOVIC

Funny Gotta Know Material Merit Parody Regard Rule Source Write
That’s something the kids should know about. Reading is a gateway to witchcraft and lesbianism.
AL YANKOVIC

Gateway Kid Lesbian Read Something Witchcraft
I have a long-standing history of respecting artists’ wishes.
AL YANKOVIC

History Long Respect Stand Wish
If you want to avoid heated arguments, never discuss religion, politics, or whether the toilet paper roll should go over or under.
AL YANKOVIC

Avoid Discuss Heat Paper Political Politics Religion Toilet
I do original songs in the style of other artists, where I try to learn all their musical idiosyncrasies and try to do something that sounds like them and yet is a bit more sick and twisted.
AL YANKOVIC

Artist Feel Idiosyncraisies Learn Like Musical Original Something Song Sound Try Twist

There aren’t that many superstars around anymore.

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There aren’t that many superstars around anymore.

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