Today I will masterbate! Okay, that was a mistake. I should have written “Today I will masterbate–if I want to!
AL FRANKENIt’s easier to put on slippers than to carpet the whole world.
More Al Franken Quotes
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I couldn’t think of anything less appealing than molding the minds of tomorrow’s leaders.
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And terror is indiscriminate murder of civilians to make a political point.
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creates jobs all over the world, and makes life easier for millions of Americans.
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I anticipate that Apple’s fingerprint reader will in fact make iPhone 5S owners more likely to secure their smartphones.
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It’s easier to put on slippers than to carpet the whole world.
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The important thing about advice is that it is simply that. Advice.
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If 98 out of 100 doctors tell me I’ve got a problem, I should take their advice.
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Net neutrality has been in place since the very beginning of the Internet.
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The crash of 2008 was driven in no small part by unfair practices in the mortgage industry which led to many consumers being trapped in loans they didn’t understand and couldn’t afford.
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Skepticism turns to cynicism, which leads to apathy and despair, which can cause sleeplessness, dry-mouth, and loss of sex drive?
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Let’s not let the government sell us out. Let’s fight for net neutrality.
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It’s hard for a liberal to go on between Sean Hannity and Rush Limbaugh, because it’s like doing country music after hip-hop. I mean, just, the audience doesn’t go from one to the other.
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The Fourth Amendment doesn’t apply to corporations.
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I’m crushed by the responsibility of writing a satirical book.
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And I think that being able to make people laugh and write a book that’s funny makes the information go down a lot easier and it makes it a lot more fun to read, easier to understand, and often stronger. So there’s all kinds of advantages to it.
AL FRANKEN