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My dad was a terrible businessman.

Al Franken

You know, Lincoln was funny. I don’t think F.D.R. was very funny. But Lincoln was funny. Lincoln was really funny. But I think you should get elected first, and then show that you’re funny.
AL FRANKEN

Elect First Funny People Really Should Show Think
Having an actual income can expand your romantic horizons toward the more appealing end of the spectrum.
AL FRANKEN

Actual Appeal End Expand Horizon Income More Romantic Spectrum
If we have George W. Bush as president, we’re going to go back to the kind of policies we had when his father and Ronald Reagan were president.
AL FRANKEN

Back Father Going Kind Person Policy President
But God told me that He/She/It had actually chosen Al Gore by making sure that Gore won the popular vote and, God thought, the Electoral College. ‘That worked for everyone else,’ God said.
AL FRANKEN

Actual Chosen Electoral Everyone God Good Gore Make Popular Sure Thought Vote Work
This is something I learned only too well years ago when I did a fundraiser for Pol Pot. A few years later I saw ‘The Killing Fields,’ and I’ve got to tell you, I just felt like a schmuck.
AL FRANKEN

Ago Felt Field Fundraiser Kill Learn Saw Schmuck Something Tell Well
I like the liberal tradition; I like the Hubert Humphrey tradition fighting for civil rights.
AL FRANKEN

Civil Fight Liberal Like Right Tradition
Good schools for me to prepare myself for a career, and, if I worked hard and played by the rules, a chance for me to do anything I wanted.
AL FRANKEN

Anything Chance Creer Good Hard Play Prepare Rule School Want Work
Rush Limbaugh is what I call a disinfotainer. He entertains by spreading disinformation.
AL FRANKEN

Call Disinformation Disinfotain Entertain People Spread
If Republicans eliminate Medicare, America will become a country in which you can never retire – and once you physically can no longer work, you are desperately poor until you die.
AL FRANKEN

Country Desperate Die Eliminate Medicare Poor Republican Retire
Veterans report that service dogs help break their isolation. People will often avert their eyes when they see a wounded veteran.
AL FRANKEN

Break Country Dog Eye Isolation People Service
I’m a perfectionist and if I start making changes, I’ll never stop.
AL FRANKEN

Change Make Perfectionist Start Stop
At ‘SNL,’ I wrote political stuff, but I never felt the show should have an axe to grind. But when I left in ’95, I could let my own beliefs out.
AL FRANKEN

Axe Belief Felt Grind Left Out Own Political Snow Stuff Wrote
When you encounter seemingly good advice that contradicts other seemingly good advice, ignore them both.
AL FRANKEN

Advice Comedy Contradict Encounter Good Seemingly
The civil rights movement was very important in my house, and then Vietnam was very important ’cause there were two boys, so I came of age during a very heated political climate.
AL FRANKEN

Boy Civil Climate Country House Important Movement Political Right Two Very
Tend to be people who didn’t take S.A.T.s, or first-time voters, or people with English as a second language.
AL FRANKEN

English First Language People Second Tend Time Voter
In our political system, money is power. And that means a few can have a lot more power than the rest.
AL FRANKEN

Democracy Few Mean Money More Political Power Rest System

My dad was a terrible businessman.

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My dad was a terrible businessman.

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