You know, Lincoln was funny. I don’t think F.D.R. was very funny. But Lincoln was funny. Lincoln was really funny. But I think you should get elected first, and then show that you’re funny.
AL FRANKENMy dad was a terrible businessman.
More Al Franken Quotes
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Having an actual income can expand your romantic horizons toward the more appealing end of the spectrum.
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If we have George W. Bush as president, we’re going to go back to the kind of policies we had when his father and Ronald Reagan were president.
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But God told me that He/She/It had actually chosen Al Gore by making sure that Gore won the popular vote and, God thought, the Electoral College. ‘That worked for everyone else,’ God said.
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This is something I learned only too well years ago when I did a fundraiser for Pol Pot. A few years later I saw ‘The Killing Fields,’ and I’ve got to tell you, I just felt like a schmuck.
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I like the liberal tradition; I like the Hubert Humphrey tradition fighting for civil rights.
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Good schools for me to prepare myself for a career, and, if I worked hard and played by the rules, a chance for me to do anything I wanted.
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Rush Limbaugh is what I call a disinfotainer. He entertains by spreading disinformation.
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If Republicans eliminate Medicare, America will become a country in which you can never retire – and once you physically can no longer work, you are desperately poor until you die.
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Veterans report that service dogs help break their isolation. People will often avert their eyes when they see a wounded veteran.
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I’m a perfectionist and if I start making changes, I’ll never stop.
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At ‘SNL,’ I wrote political stuff, but I never felt the show should have an axe to grind. But when I left in ’95, I could let my own beliefs out.
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When you encounter seemingly good advice that contradicts other seemingly good advice, ignore them both.
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The civil rights movement was very important in my house, and then Vietnam was very important ’cause there were two boys, so I came of age during a very heated political climate.
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Tend to be people who didn’t take S.A.T.s, or first-time voters, or people with English as a second language.
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In our political system, money is power. And that means a few can have a lot more power than the rest.
AL FRANKEN