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If you look at terrorists, they really have no sense of humor.

Al Franken

Today I will masterbate! Okay, that was a mistake. I should have written “Today I will masterbate–if I want to!
AL FRANKEN

Masturbate Mistake Okay Today Want Written
Grown-up love means actually understanding what you love, taking the good with the bad and helping your loved one grow.
AL FRANKEN

Actually Bad Good Grown Help Love One Understanding Up
My views about God come from my dad. Dad told me that he believed Nature, which to him included humankind, to be so beautiful, so magnificent, that there had to be something behind it all.
AL FRANKEN

Beautiful Behind Believe Come Dad Go Humankind Include Magnificient Nature Told View
I want a president who can handle a cream soda.
AL FRANKEN

Cream Handle President Soda Want
I also focus on Bush and his administration – who do a lot of lying – and how a right-wing media has allowed them to get away with a lot of stuff that, in a different media environment, they probably wouldn’t be able to get away with.
AL FRANKEN

Administration Allow Different Do Environment Focus Lie Lot Media Probably Right Stuff Wing
And the problem with the mainstream media is that it has these other biases that are much more important.
AL FRANKEN

Bise Dry Kill Mainstream Media Other Person Problem These
During Vietnam, I was in college, enjoying my student deferment. The government wisely felt that, in my case, military service was less important than completing my studies to prepare me for my chosen career: comedian.
AL FRANKEN

Career College Country Deferment Enjoy Military Student
Apple has long been a leading innovator of mobile technology; I myself own an iPhone.
AL FRANKEN

Apple Innovator iPhone Leading Long Mobile Technology
Does the mainstream media have a liberal bias? On a couple of things, maybe.
AL FRANKEN

Bias Couple Liberal Mainstream Media Thing
That he armed the Mujahideen, that he armed Saddam, that he armed Iran, that he armed two-thirds of the Axis of Evil, and that he funded terrorists in Central America. He was, in my mind, a terrible president.
AL FRANKEN

Arm Axis Central Country Exil Fund Mind Terrible Terrorist
My parents didn’t make a lot of money. My dad was not a high school graduate.
AL FRANKEN

Career Dad Graduate High Lot Money School
I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and dog-gone it, people like me.
AL FRANKEN

Dog Enough Gone Like People Small Smart
Some of George W. Bush’s friends say that Bush believes God called him to be president during these times of trial.
AL FRANKEN

Believe Call College During Friend God Popular President Some Time Trial Vote
The Republican agenda is a radical vision in which Medicaid is slashed to the bone – in which we start to balance the budget on the backs of, literally, our most vulnerable citizens.
AL FRANKEN

Agenda Balance Bone Budget Citizen Medicaid Radical Republican Slash Start Vision Vulnerance
The crash of 2008 was driven in no small part by unfair practices in the mortgage industry which led to many consumers being trapped in loans they didn’t understand and couldn’t afford.
AL FRANKEN

Become Crash Drive Industry led Many Mortgage Part Practice Small Unfair
If someone hacks your password, you can change it – as many times as you want.
AL FRANKEN

Change Fingerprint Hack Many Password Secret Someone Time Want

If you look at terrorists, they really have no sense of humor.

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If you look at terrorists, they really have no sense of humor.

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Popular Authors

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