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I want to reclaim ‘liberal.’ I’m a liberal, and I think most Americans are liberals.

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The Minnesotans I talk to are really concerned about what the future holds for their families.
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I’ve spent my entire career being a satirist.
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If 98 out of 100 doctors tell me I’ve got a problem, I should take their advice.
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Demagoguery sells. And therefore, radio stations will put it on. But that doesn’t mean that you can’t do something else and also make it sell.
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The government must give proper weight to both keeping America safe from terrorists and protecting Americans’ privacy.
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We lived in a two-bedroom, one-bath house in St. Louis Park, Minnesota. We weren’t rich – but we felt secure.
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I ask the American people not to fall victim to disinformation. There are no death panels. The Affordable Care Act cuts the deficit.
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Today I will masterbate! Okay, that was a mistake. I should have written “Today I will masterbate–if I want to!
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Oh, no, you’re kidding.’ I go, ‘No, I’m really honest.’
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People who have severe mental illness are in Hell. People who have lost a loved one are in Hell.
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