To ask whether the mainstream media has a conservative or liberal bias is like asking whether al-Qaida uses too much oil in their hummus. It’s – I think they might use too much oil in their hummus – but it’s the wrong question.
AL FRANKENWhat you see on the campaign trail is me. It’s easy being me.
More Al Franken Quotes
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People who have severe mental illness are in Hell. People who have lost a loved one are in Hell.
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I know that it’s probably not a good idea for a comedian, especially a satirist, to support a public policy group or a politician.
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that is eventually going to have an effect on soldiers and troops who are actually going to believe that and it’s wrong. It’s just wrong.
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We lived in a two-bedroom, one-bath house in St. Louis Park, Minnesota. We weren’t rich – but we felt secure.
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Which is why I think any loving, committed couple — gay or straight — should be able to get married.
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Humor and seriousness are not in opposition to each other.
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Liberals like me love America. We just love America in a different way.
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You can’t change your fingerprints. You have only ten of them. And you leave them on everything you touch; they are definitely not a secret.
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The crash of 2008 was driven in no small part by unfair practices in the mortgage industry which led to many consumers being trapped in loans they didn’t understand and couldn’t afford.
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I’ve spent my entire career being a satirist.
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If 98 out of 100 doctors tell me I’ve got a problem, I should take their advice.
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When you encounter seemingly good advice that contradicts other seemingly good advice, ignore them both.
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Most people would rather be uncertain some of the time than 100% positive all the time – even when they’re wrong.
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He said we had enough to go three years without making money, and we had enough to go three weeks.
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I just can’t sit still and meditate; that doesn’t kind of work for me. I don’t even know exactly what it means.
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