I don’t know how many of you have been to New York, but if a building is two blocks away from anything, you can’t see it.
AL FRANKENWhich is why I think any loving, committed couple — gay or straight — should be able to get married.
More Al Franken Quotes
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Medicare was established to secure that promise.
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I think the Internet has developed at this incredibly rapid pace because of net neutrality, because of the free nature of it, because a YouTube can start the way YouTube started.
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I like the liberal tradition; I like the Hubert Humphrey tradition fighting for civil rights.
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The important thing about advice is that it is simply that. Advice.
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I think there are all kinds of different hells. It’s not a place you go to after you die.
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Today I will masterbate! Okay, that was a mistake. I should have written “Today I will masterbate–if I want to!
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I once asked the most fabulous couple I know, Madonna and Guy Ritchie, how they kept things fresh despite having been married for almost seven months. ‘It’s a job, Al,’ Guy told me. ‘We work at it every day.’
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It was hard for him to project who he is, the person people know in private.
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The Medicare Part D prescription drug bill, which might be the most corrupt piece of legislation in history, was a huge giveaway of taxpayer funds to the big pharmaceutical companies.
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Technology is an incredible tool – it connects people to each other.
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For 35 years I was a writer. I wrote a lot of jokes. Some of them weren’t funny. Some of them weren’t appropriate. Some of them were downright offensive. I understand that.
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I got interested in politics during the civil rights movement and then Vietnam.
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Some of my colleagues seem more interested in using every procedural method possible to keep the Senate from doing anything than they are in creating jobs or helping Americans struggling in a difficult economy.
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I just can’t sit still and meditate; that doesn’t kind of work for me. I don’t even know exactly what it means.
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People who have severe mental illness are in Hell. People who have lost a loved one are in Hell.
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