“Today’s younger generation is no worse than my own.”

Any place that anyone can learn something useful from someone with experience is an educational institution.

Abstract art: a product of the untalented sold by the unprincipled to the utterly bewildered.

The public is like a piano. You just have to know what keys to poke.

We were just as ignorant and repulsive as they are, but nobody listened to us.

The secret of how to live without resentment or embarrassment in a world in which I was different from everyone else. was to be indifferent to that difference.

My work is being destroyed almost as soon as it is printed. One day it is being read; the next day someone’s wrapping fish in it.

What’s good for General Bullmoose is good for the U.S.A.!

As far as unwed mothers on welfare are concerned, it seems to me that they must be capable of some other form of labor.

Don’t be a pal to your son. Be his father. What child needs a 40-year-old for a friend?

Anyone who can walk to the welfare office can walk to work.

Young people should be helped, sheltered, ignored, and clubbed of necessary.

Like all New York hotel lady cashiers she had red hair and had been disappointed in her first husband.

There are certain books in the world which every searcher for truth must know: the Bible, the Critique of Pure Reason, the Origin of Species, and Karl Marx’s Capital.

Today, at Harvard, any student with the currently fashionable color of skin is given rights denied to students of the currently unfashionable color.

Success is following the pattern of life one enjoys most.

I started going to acting school when I was 14, and I would always have my own take on things.

I carry my unwritten poems in cipher on my face!

At my age, I’m just happy to be named the greatest living anything.

At my age, I’m just happy to be named the greatest living anything.

My number is 174517; we have been baptized, we will carry the tattoo on our left arm until we die.

Sleep with me sleep with my dogs-

In my man cave, I have tomahawks, throwing knives, and old black-bear furs. There’s skulls, weapons everywhere.

The most important thing of all is my parents were able to leave all four of their children better off than themselves. That story has a name, it’s called the American dream.