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Alright, remember, alcohol equals puke equals smelly mess equals nobody likes you.

Adam Sandler

I’m a big fan of money. I like it, I use it, I have a little. I keep it in a jar on top of my refrigerator. I’d like to put more in that jar. That’s where you come in.
ADAM SANDLER

Fans Money Myself
Sixth grade was a big time, in my childhood, of hoops and friendship, and coming up with funny things.
ADAM SANDLER

Childhood Friendship Funny Myself Time
In one day, I have times where I’m feeling great, I feel like I love my life, and then 2:30 rolls around and I’m the angriest man alive. My wife sees it.
ADAM SANDLER

Alive Emotion Feeling Greatness Man Mood Myself Time Wife
I kinda feel like an idiot sometimes. Although I am an idiot, so it kinda works out.
ADAM SANDLER

Feeling Kind Myself Work
Sometimes you can’t prioritise family and you feel guilty.
ADAM SANDLER

Feeling Guilty Priority Time Yourself
I think the reason I don’t read is because, when I’m reading, I feel like I’m missing out on something else. You know, What are my friends doing? Where’s my girlfriend?
ADAM SANDLER

Friendship Myself Reading Reason Thinking
A lot of critics object to what I do, but I got into comedy to make people laugh, and I’ve always worked hard.
ADAM SANDLER

Comedy Criticism Hard Work Laugh Myself People
It’s important I surround myself with people who make me happy.
ADAM SANDLER

Happiness Important People Surround Yourself
When the kids are laughing in the audience, I tear up, I’m so happy I did a nice thing.
ADAM SANDLER

Audience Children Happiness Laughter Myself
Alright, remember, alcohol equals puke equals smelly mess equals nobody likes you.
ADAM SANDLER

Alcohol Equality Remember Yourself
When I was younger and did a stand-up gig, it would take me two weeks to recover. Sometimes I’d get so panicked that I would stutter.
ADAM SANDLER

Anxiety Myself Performance Stand Young
The only reason I got into stand-up was because my brother told me to. I had no idea what I was going to do with my life. I was 17 and my brother went to a comedy club and he said – you can do that.
ADAM SANDLER

Brother Comedy Himself Reason Stand Yourself
My comedy is different every time I do it. I don’t know what the hell I’m doing.
ADAM SANDLER

Comedy Different Hell Myself Time
Girls are soft and pretty.
ADAM SANDLER

Appearance Beautiful Girl Soft Woman
My kids don’t have a trust fund, they have a debt fund. And when I die, they’re $4 million in the hole.
ADAM SANDLER

Children Death Money Myself Trust
I don’t know what drives me to succeed. I know I want to always do the best I can.I guess I was maybe in little league baseball as far as I wanted to be good at that. But school, I certainly wasn’t the best at that.
ADAM SANDLER

Best Drive Goodness Myself Success

Alright, remember, alcohol equals puke equals smelly mess equals nobody likes you.

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Alright, remember, alcohol equals puke equals smelly mess equals nobody likes you.

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