“Now that I’m a parent, I understand why my father was in a bad mood a lot.”

I read to my kid, but I can’t stand reading.

Feels good to try, but playing a father, I’m getting a little older. I see now that I’m taking it more serious and I do want that lifestyle.

Sometimes you can’t prioritise family and you feel guilty.

I’ve always just had troubles with my family because I’m psychotic. It had nothing to do with that.

I still like doing stand-up now, but it’s not the same. It used to be that I was out there with five other comedians. Now I usually just do it alone.

Chemistry can be a good and bad thing. Chemistry is good when you make love with it. Chemistry is bad when you make crack with it.

I kinda feel like an idiot sometimes. Although I am an idiot, so it kinda works out.

The problem with me, as far as getting married and having a family, is that my comedy is so important to me. So I don’t know if I’ll ever be as good a dad as my dad.

When I was younger and did a stand-up gig, it would take me two weeks to recover. Sometimes I’d get so panicked that I would stutter.

I’ve always liked older ladies, ever since my mother would have B’nai B’rith at our house.

It’s important I surround myself with people who make me happy.

It’s hard to soar with the eagles when you’re surrounded by turkeys.

I had my moments of being humiliated, and then I had moments of doing something humiliating. I’m glad I lived out both roles.

I definitely connected to the fact that life gets out of control and you end up doing things and wishing you were doing other things instead.

In one day, I have times where I’m feeling great, I feel like I love my life, and then 2:30 rolls around and I’m the angriest man alive. My wife sees it.

You’ve just got to give yourself time – that’s good advice I think. Give yourself time to figure out what you’re good at and what you’re not good at.

I personally always find something really scary about watching little girls learning to manipulate their dads by baby talking. Then they grow up and use the same technique on their boyfriends or husbands. That scares me because it’s just so sick on so many levels.

He is a gentleman; I am a gentleman’s daughter; so far we are equal.

A father’s love always brings healing.

My father was always in good spirits, he loved football. It makes me a bit sad because if he could enjoy seeing me now, what I have achieved, that would be a highlight in his life. But I’m sure that he watches over me from above.

To her, the name of father was the name of god.

My dad’s probably one of the kindest people in the world. When I was younger that’s not how I was- I was a little spoiled brat.

Most of all, I want to thank my father, up there, the man who when I said I wanted to be an actor, he said, ‘Wonderful. Just have a back-up profession like welding.’

Mothers are fonder than fathers of their children because they are more certain they are their own.