I got into cars through my father. He used to work on cars. My job was to hold the light, which pretty much was the limit of my mechanical abilities.
ADAM FERRARAWhat if God’s a woman? Not only am I going to hell, I’ll never know why!
More Adam Ferrara Quotes
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The human body is in constant change the minute we’re born. It’s in a constant state of decay. We’re all like Ford Escorts, just falling apart.
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Sex is important to guys. We need stories to tell our friends.
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Being in a relationship is like being in A.A. My friends ask me, ‘How’s it going with that girl?’ ‘One day at a time, man.’
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I am a Catholic. Basically, the Catholic religion is ‘If it feels good – stop.’
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Oh, it may sound crass, but just check the color when you come home. ‘Hi honey. Infernal red? Oh boy, I ain’t getting laid, and I gotta cut the lawn, I know it.’
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I love my girlfriend, don’t get me wrong. I truly love this woman, but I have the ability to have sex without any emotional involvement. It’s a gift.
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My favorite Catholic holiday is Easter. For those of you that don’t know, Easter is the day we celebrate Jesus rising from the grave and coming back to Earth as a rabbit that hides colored eggs.
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My pop is this big, huge man, nothing can hurt him. I went running into his bedroom like, ‘Daddy, Daddy, the boogie man’s under the bed!’ Pop opens one eye, he’s like, ‘Is the boogie man bigger than me?’ ‘
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Just to p-s you off, that’s why! I got spoons hidden all over this house! Keep it up, and your napkin rings are gonna start disappearing.’
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Go to bed.’ ‘Don’t you feel like we’re soul…’
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The girls are beautiful in Hollywood – and enough silicon to caulk a sink.
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What if God’s a woman? Not only am I going to hell, I’ll never know why!
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There were many reasons we broke up. There was a religious difference: I’m a Catholic, and she’s the devil.
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If you’re in California and it’s raining, stay home, because nobody can drive in the rain. It’s like it’s raining frogs. They’re terrified.
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I love that magazine, man – Victoria’s Secret – and it comes, like, every three hours.
ADAM FERRARA