black
grey
blue
red
brown
white

Whenever she uses the phrase ‘I was thinking…,’ that means I either have to move, paint or buy something.

Adam Ferrara

Ladies, your happiness is very important to us. You have to understand that. Because when you’re happy, you let us touch you.
ADAM FERRARA

Funny Happiness Happy Humor Important Ladies Touch
I know she’s just trying to make things nice, so I do my part. Now, when I get up to use the bathroom in the middle of the night, I turn on the light. I used to just go by sonar: just keep peeing ’til you hear water.
ADAM FERRARA

Bathroom Funny Humor. Trying Make Nice Night Now Thing Use
I love that magazine, man – Victoria’s Secret – and it comes, like, every three hours.
ADAM FERRARA

Every Funny Hour Humor Like Magazine Man Three
Go to bed.’ ‘Don’t you feel like we’re soul…’
ADAM FERRARA

Bed Feel Forever Go Like Soul
My dad was a big car guy. If you wanted to spend time with my dad, he was working on the car.
ADAM FERRARA

Car Dad Guy Money Spend Trust Vehicle Wanted Working
You can do that: you send away to the Philippines, and they send you a wife. The only thing is, once you’re on their mailing list, they keep sending you a relative a month whether you want it or not.
ADAM FERRARA

Away Country List Mailing Month People Relative Thing Wife
I think human arrogance will be the demise of civilization.
ADAM FERRARA

Arrogance Civilization Demise Human Thinking
Whenever she uses the phrase ‘I was thinking…,’ that means I either have to move, paint or buy something.
ADAM FERRARA

Either Funny Humor Mean Move Moving Paint Phrase Thinking
Oh, it may sound crass, but just check the color when you come home. ‘Hi honey. Infernal red? Oh boy, I ain’t getting laid, and I gotta cut the lawn, I know it.’
ADAM FERRARA

Color Come Crass Funny Home Honey Infernal Sound
My girlfriend wants to get married. I tell you – I hope she meets somebody nice.
ADAM FERRARA

Funny Girlfriend Hope Marriage Married Meet Nice She Someone Tell You
My pop is this big, huge man, nothing can hurt him. I went running into his bedroom like, ‘Daddy, Daddy, the boogie man’s under the bed!’ Pop opens one eye, he’s like, ‘Is the boogie man bigger than me?’ ‘
ADAM FERRARA

Bedroom Big Daddy Huge Man Pop Running
There’s no dating in the animal kingdom. No dinner, no movie – just a quick sniff, ‘Alright, let’s go.’
ADAM FERRARA

Alright Animal Dating Dinner Funny Go Kingdom Movie No Quick Sniff
The biggest thing in my life right now is my girlfriend. I love this girl. I know I love her because she told me.
ADAM FERRARA

Biggest Funny Girl Girlfriend Humor Life Love Now Right Thing
I sincerely want to meet the girl that was meant for me, but I want to sleep with the girls that weren’t.
ADAM FERRARA

Funny Girl Humor Meant Meet Sincerely Sleep
If you’re in California and it’s raining, stay home, because nobody can drive in the rain. It’s like it’s raining frogs. They’re terrified.
ADAM FERRARA

Country Drive Home Nobody Rain Raining Stay
My father tried to give me the sex talk once, and he chickened out. He walked into my room and went, ‘Adam – uh, don’t kiss guys.’
ADAM FERRARA

Chicken Father Funny Kiss Once Room Sex Talk Walked You

Whenever she uses the phrase ‘I was thinking…,’ that means I either have to move, paint or buy something.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

Whenever she uses the phrase ‘I was thinking…,’ that means I either have to move, paint or buy something.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

More Adam Ferrara Quotes