“The only good thing about the good old days is they’re gone.”

One of the things I keep learning is that the secret of being happy is doing things for other people.

I personally believe breathatarianism to be the highest mode of human living breathing in pure air, absorbing the direct light and energies of the sun, bathing in pure water I look at the obituaries every morning and ain’t nobody listed but you eaters.

My belief is, you know, certain things have to be explained that’s never been explained.

If democracy is such a good thing, let’s have more of it.

It was an unwritten law that black comics were not permitted to work white nightclubs. You could sing and you could dance, but you couldn’t stand flat-footed and talk; that was a no-no.

And we love to dance, especially that new one called the Civil War Twist. The Northern part of you stands still while the Southern part tries to secede.

I never believed in Santa Claus because I knew no white dude would come into my neighborhood after dark.

If they took all the drugs, nicotine, alcohol, and caffeine off the market for six days, they’d have to bring out the tanks to control you.

When you’ve got something really good, you don’t have to force it on people. They will steal it!

I never thought I’d see the day that I would see white folks as frightened, or more so than black folks was during the civil rights movement when we were in Mississippi.

I wouldn’t mind paying taxes – if I knew they were going to a friendly country.

Last time I was down South I walked into this restaurant, and this white waitress came up to me and said: ‘We don’t serve colored people here.’ I said: ‘that’s all right, I don’t eat colored people. Bring me a whole fried chicken.

Just being a Negro doesn’t qualify you to understand the race situation any more than being sick makes you an expert on medicine.

Did you know that in New Orleans they still have brown bag parties? What’s that, you ask? You and I go to a party, and when we get to the door, there’s a brown bag hanging down from the ceiling, and if our skin is darker than the brown bag, we can’t go in.

Hell hath no fury like a liberal scorned.

There’s a God force inside of you that gives you a will to live.

Set goals – high goals for you and your organization. When your organization has a goal to shoot for, you create teamwork, people working for a common good.

Sometimes the rewards of risk don’t leave us wrecked. Sometimes we find our passion, our purpose, courage, connection, and comfort. Every good thing in our lives is a direct result of risk.

Football is about joy. It’s about dribbling. I favour every idea that makes the game beautiful. Every good idea has to last.

It’s a good thing God chose me before I was born, because he surely would not have afterwards.

I pray to God every day that he makes me the biggest superstar, but before that, I ask God to make me a good actor. Being a star is hard, but being an actor is even harder. I want to be both before I am done.

Music’s a good thing, it calms the beast in the man.

The minute I feel nervousness or anxiety or fear, I go, ‘No, no, that’s not a thought that I need to have right now. Everything’s great, everything’s good, you’re going to be fine’.

First black president ever, and to be living while it happened – that’s a good part of history. That’s probably the biggest person I admire right now.