In the long run, failure was the only thing that worked predictably. All else was accidental.
JOSEPH HELLERI want to keep my dreams, even bad ones, because without them, I might have nothing all night long.
More Joseph Heller Quotes
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I don’t believe in miracles because it’s been a long time since we’ve had any.
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There was no telling what people might find out once they felt free to ask whatever questions they wanted to.
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I’ve only had four ideas for a novel in my life, and I’ve written all of them.
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While none of the work we do is very important, it is important that we do a great deal of it.
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Where were you born?” “On a battlefield,” [Yossarian] answered. “No, no. In what state were you born?” “In a state of innocence.
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Destiny is a good thing to accept when it’s going your way. When it isn’t, don’t call it destiny; call it injustice, treachery, or simple bad luck.
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What do you do when it rains?” The captain answered frankly. “I get wet.
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All of my books deal in a very rough, rude fashion with subjects about which there are great conflicts of opinion.
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History was a trash bag of random coincidences torn open in a wind.
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Let’s take a drive into the middle of nowhere with a packet of Marlboro lights and talk about our lives.
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Death to all modifiers, he declared one day, and out of every letter that passed through his hands went every adverb and every adjective.
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It doesn’t make a damned bit of difference who wins the war to someone who’s dead.
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When I grow up I want to be a little boy.
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Anything worth dying for is certainly worth living for.
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Frankly, I’d like to see the government get out of war altogether and leave the whole field to private industry.
JOSEPH HELLER