“A pessimist is a man who thinks everybody is as nasty as himself, and hates them for it.”

The most tragic thing in the world is a man of genius who is not a man of honor.

The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it.

There is only one religion, though there are a hundred versions of it.

Liberty means responsibility. That is why most men dread it.

Silence is the most perfect expression of scorn.

Dancing is a perpendicular expression of a horizontal desire.

Without art, the crudeness of reality would make the world unbearable.

The reasonable man adapts himself to the world: the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself.

If you have an apple and I have an apple and we exchange these apples then you and I will still each have one apple.

You’ll never have a quiet world till you knock the patriotism out of the human race.

A drunken man is happier than a sober one.

Never lose a chance: it doesn’t come every day.

Life is not meant to be easy, my child; but take courage: it can be delightful.

Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh.

What you are to do without me I cannot imagine.

When your heart is broken, your boats are burned: nothing matters any more. It is the end of happiness and the beginning of peace.

A jealous woman is a best investigator than CBI.

Never slap a man who’s chewing tobacco.

Everyone’s trying to reach the top. Tell me how far is it from the bottom.

Sometimes people deserve a high five, in the face, with a chair.

Everything is funny, as long as it’s happening to somebody else.

A pekingeese is not a pet dog; he is an undersized lion.

Sometimes, we all laugh for a joke which is not funny and cry for a love not meant to be.

I like doing nothing, actually. Doing nothing is better thing when I am not working.