“I don’t think a prostitute is more moral than a wife, but they are doing the same thing.”

I have frequently been misrepresented. I don’t hate the press; I find a lot of it is very unpalatable.

British women can’t cook.

It’s a pleasure to be in a country that isn’t ruled by its people.

The man who invented the red carpet needed his head examined.

Everything that wasn’t invented by God is invented by an engineer.

Dontopedalogy is the science of opening your mouth and putting your foot in it, which I’ve practised for many years.

All money nowadays seems to be produced with a natural homing instinct for the Treasury.

We live in what virtually amounts to a museum – which does not happen to a lot of people.

I had been playing polo, and I decided to give up at the age of 50.

Wildlife of the world is disappearing, not because of a malicious and deliberate policy of slaughter and extermination, but simply because of a general and widespread ignorance and neglect.

Anyone who is concerned about his dignity would be well advised to keep away from horses.

It’s better to get out before you reach the sell-by date.

Young people are the same as they always were. They are just as ignorant.

I have very little experience of self-government. In fact, I am one of the most governed people in the world.

You could do with losing a little bit of weight.

If anyone has a new idea in this country, there are twice as many people who keep putting a man with a red flag in front of it.

Time to stop seeking equality in a society that is morally inferior.

Everything’s got a moral, if only you can find it.

People with no morals often considered themselves more free, but mostly they lacked the ability to feel or love.

The highest possible stage in moral culture is when we recognize that we ought to control our thoughts.

Mortality is very different when you’re 20 to when you’re 50.

Constitutional morality is not a natural sentiment. It has to be cultivated. We must realise that our people have yet to learn it.

Know that joy is rarer, more difficult, and more beautiful than sadness. Once you make this all-important discovery, you must embrace joy as a moral obligation.

Justice demands integrity. It’s to have a moral universe – not only know what is right or wrong but to put things in perspective, weigh things. Justice is different from violence and retribution; it requires complex accounting.