I’m going to go on just living and laughing and loving.
BILLY CRYSTALI don’t like heights. This is why I stopped growing at fifth grade.
More Billy Crystal Quotes
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The Passion of the Christ opened up on Ash Wednesday, had a Good Friday.
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Women need a reason to have sex, men just need a place.
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I used to limp around my neighborhood imitating him. I did my Bar Mitzvah with an Oklahoma drawl.
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Dad had a music store, and he’d often bring home comedy albums that I would listen to. I started listening to Bob Newhart and Bill Cosby, and developing taste. They really influenced my style of comedy.
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Good news, they found Nemo! The bad news is, they found him in one of Wolfgang Puck’s puff pastries.
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Don’t give up your power.
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If you do something for the first time, you will always remember it. If your Dad has something to do with it, you write about it.
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Well, the way things are going, aside from wheat and auto parts, America’s biggest export is now the Oscar.
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You really have to have some muscle to be on the stage in front of the world.
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At 60, I could do the same things I could do at 30, if I could only remember what those things are.
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I’d like to think there is a Heaven, and it starts from the happiest day in your life.
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I always came away thinking “I’d like to see her more,” you know? And then when [Parental Guidance] was ready to be cast, we thought – Bette [Midler]. So we called her.
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When you realize you want to invest the rest of your lifestyle with somebody, you want the rest of your life to commence as quickly as achievable.
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I’m married – I’ve caught my limit.
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Bambi, to a kid, was scary.
BILLY CRYSTAL