I’m married – I’ve caught my limit.
BILLY CRYSTALAt some point I stopped stand-up because I didn’t have something to say on a nightly basis.
More Billy Crystal Quotes
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Even when I was in school shows, in elementary school doing plays, I’d always go off book and start improvising.
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Dad had a music store, and he’d often bring home comedy albums that I would listen to. I started listening to Bob Newhart and Bill Cosby, and developing taste. They really influenced my style of comedy.
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There’s only, I think, in life, three things that I do pretty well: Performing, I still can field ground balls, and I make nice kids.
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I can’t be funny if my feet don’t feel right.
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From the first time I saw Sid Caesar be funny I knew that’s what I had to do.
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Bambi, to a kid, was scary.
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I’m going to go on just living and laughing and loving.
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That’s the thing about jazz: it’s free flowing, it comes from your soul.
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As a director and an actor, I encourage improvisation but in character and in the moment of what it is.
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The inspiration was this great group of 40 or 50 relatives, sometimes for Thanksgiving or Passover or something and my brothers would just go up and make them laugh.
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I’ve always thought that the key to a good sex life is variety. That’s why God gave me two hands. Humans love sex, we need sex, it’s how we connect, it reminds us we’re alive, it’s the third most basic human need, after food and good movie popcorn.
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When I’ve gotten criticism, it’s that it’s too long, too soft, didn’t hit the government hard enough. Then when I do hit the government, they go, What’s he doing hitting the government?
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When you realize you want to invest the rest of your lifestyle with somebody, you want the rest of your life to commence as quickly as achievable.
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I don’t like heights. This is why I stopped growing at fifth grade.
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Two thousand years ago Jesus is crucified, three days later he walks out of a cave and they celebrate with chocolate bunnies and marshmallow Peeps and beautifully decorated eggs. I guess these were things Jesus loved as a child.
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