I have a pretty good math mind, so I can see patterns, but I don’t have a great ear. It’s like a tragedy – I can see so much more natural musical ability in so many other people.
BO BURNHAMWomen are like fingers and toes because they’re easy to count on.
More Bo Burnham Quotes
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Even if he is your friend, never, ever call an Asian person.
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The strange thing with Wikipedia is that the first article that ever gets written about you will define your Wikipedia page forever.
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When life gets you down, make a comforter!
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I actually wrestled in high school. I was only in one match, and I lost… my virginity.
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Poetic talent is really easy to fake when thy sentences doth no f-king sense make.
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I never said I was funny, OK, so stop staring at me.
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If comedy is about surprises, about tension, there’s a lot of tension and surprise there, in the fact that people are expecting this to be natural.
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My persona is most importantly just to communicate the material in a way that is most funny and meaningful in the moment. It’s more like a character that’s sculpted for whatever joke needs communicating at the moment.
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Squaring numbers are just like women. If they’re under thirteen, just do them in your head.
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Laughter is the best medicine, y’know, besides medicine.
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When I see someone filming me, I don’t usually think, ‘No, man, don’t put this up online!’ I’d think, ‘Hey man, you don’t get to go to shows very often, put down the camera and enjoy it!’ I love going to theatre and to shows so much.
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For me, if you distill comedy down, it is surprise and the unexpected. That has to be it on its most base level, in any form.
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Is there anything better than pussy? Yeah, a really good book.
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Poverty. Racism. Isn’t it strange, only the homeless are begging for change?
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People give me money and I don’t know why, my real collection plate is an empty cup held by a homeless guy.
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I feel more like I’m doing a play whose main character just happens to share my name.
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Women are like puzzles because prior to 1920 neither had the right to vote. Puzzles still don’t.
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I think controversy has this allusion of being controversial but it’s totally not, which is why I’m trying to get away from it because it’s just easy and automatic.
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At the time of ‘Words, Words, Words,’ I’m a 19-year-old getting up feeling like he’s entitled to do comedy and tell you what he thinks of the world, so that’s inherently a little bit ridiculous.
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I’m gay for Jesus, fill me with your grace. Pour your love all over me, but please aim away from my face.
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And if ten percent of men are gay and twenty percent of men are Chinese, what are the odds that a men chosen at random spends his free time and mealtime while on his knees.
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All you god damn dirty Catholics can cath-o-lick my balls.
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I think the love-hate is fundamental. Everyone hates reality television, and everyone’s watching it. Everyone hates Facebook, and everyone is on it.
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I’m also wary about the fact that if you don’t proceed with caution and understand what you’re doing, you understand these things are realities that you’re dealing with, they’re real things.
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I’d really love to make something that doesn’t involve my stupid face.
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I like to inject a bit of production value and flair to comedy, or at least to my little corner of comedy.
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